365 Challenge: Day 54 – Nervous

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Nervous: easily agitated or alarmed; tending to be anxious; highly strung

If you are confident in every moment of your life, perhaps you are not challenging yourself enough to step out of your comfort zone. To be nervous is to express emotions that demonstrate you are uncertain, worried, fearful, concerned… and if kept at a proper level, it’s actually a good thing. It’s healthy to release total control sometimes… allowing your mind to cleanse, heal and prep for the next battle.

I’ve often thought that people who are totally comfortable in any situation are suspicious. Not because they’ve done something wrong, but I wonder what’s going on their head. Have they learned everything technique to keep calm? Do they have weak goals and objectives such that they will always meet or exceed them? Do they not push themselves to try new activities? Or are they just that good where they have no nerves to control?

On the scale of nerves, I fall somewhere in the middle, probably like most of us. I have several things I’m afraid of (that’s a post coming up soon!), but I’ve also a few where I’m completely comfortable and in my element, even though most others would be freaking out.

What makes me nervous?

  • Waiting for responses, answers, results
  • Delivering bad or disappointing news to someone else
  • People staring at me
  • Being in crowded places

What doesn’t make me nervous?

  • Confessing so much about myself in this 365 Daily Challenge
  • Public Speaking
  • Being completely cut off from any form of communication, e.g. deserted island
  • Being idle

We each have our own goals in mind, our purpose or objective for living (sometimes we actually haven’t yet figured it out). We generally know our comfort zones and stay within a small percentage of testing the waters just beyond. Some people’s boundaries feel limitless. Others feel constraining. It’s what makes us all different, able to survive and open to change.

Being nervous shows you are considering something different, something new. Sometimes we can be nervous about the exact same thing over-and-over again, but in most instances, the more you confront the issue, the less it will cause distress. Not always of course, but then again, I’m not focusing on the huge life-altering things… just the daily goings-on of life around us.

When I’m nervous, I tend to either hide or bark… not like a dog (wouldn’t that be amusing), but as in become a bit mean or aggressive. My responses will be short and it comes across like I’m snapping at someone — often the person who is trying to help me. It’s a natural reaction, I do realize it. Perhaps because we feel comfortable around that person, it’s easier to relax our mind over the things we are nervous about.

Rather than discuss the tools and techniques to calm us down, I’m more apt to question why we are nervous. I prefer getting to the root or source of the problem. And not necessarily by going to other people, but by thinking over the situation in my own head. There are absolutely times when you need someone else’s help, but there are also times when you just need some uninterrupted time for yourself to ponder.

Let’s take my nerves over delivering bad news… I believe it’s because I don’t want to hurt someone. I feel ill-equipped to fix his/her pain. I fear retaliation or losing the friendship. But when you push deeper… think about where you fit in with the overall issue that you need to cover. Consider what happens if you don’t confront / discuss it. Picture the end game when the situation is resolved. Focus on where you want to end up rather than what’s happened in the past to initiate the delivery of the bad news. It’s also important to outline the goals of the conversation. Don’t wing it. Have the beginning, middle and end worked out. Consider the paths the conversation could take. Have some positive things in your back pocket. Work through it enough on your own, or even with someone else, until you feel prepared to address the situation.

Your nerves won’t go away. And that’s a good thing. You want your nerves to be on a bit of an alert — not a high one — but enough so you retain your humanity when bringing up difficult topics. It’s worked for me on some occasions, but I don’t always practice it. Sometimes… I’m just scared shitless (yes, I said that aloud… but you know the rules… once I type it here, the only changes I can make are to grammar and spelling)… and I am a Nervous Nelly. Or is it Nellie? Let’s free-form away from this discussion… where did that saying come from? I need to go look it up. And I think that’s a wrap… or is it rap?  Another thing to look up. Yikes, I’m a little nervous I’ve made a fool of myself with this conclusion today. Ciao.

About Me & the “365 Daily Challenge”

I’m Jay and I live in NYC. By profession, I work in technology. By passion, I work in writing. I’ve always been a reader. And now I’m a daily blogger. I decided to start my own version of the “365 Daily Challenge” where since March 13, 2017, I’ve posted a characteristic either I currently embody or one I’d like to embody in the future. 365 days of reflection to discover who I am and what I want out of life.

The goal: Knowledge. Acceptance. Understanding. Optimization. Happiness. Help. For myself. For others. And if all else fails, humor. When I’m finished in one year, I hope to have more answers about the future and what I will do with the remainder of my life. All aspects to be considered. It’s not just about a career, hobbies, residence, activities, efforts, et al. It’s meant to be a comprehensive study and reflection from an ordinary man. Not a doctor. Not a therapist. Not a friend. Not an encyclopedia full of prior research. Just pure thought, a blogged journal with true honesty.

Join the fun and read a new post each day, or check out my book reviews, TV/Film reviews or favorite vacation spots. And feel free to like, rate, comment or take the poll for each post. Note: All written content is my original creation and copyrighted to me, but the graphics and images were linked from other sites and belong to them. Many thanks to their original creators.

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10 thoughts on “365 Challenge: Day 54 – Nervous

    readrantrockandroll said:
    May 5, 2017 at 1:02 PM

    Great Post for your 365 Challenge, James. So, you’re not nervous during public speaking? That’s awesome! I’m the opposite, but similar with everything else. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

      James J. Cudney IV responded:
      May 5, 2017 at 1:05 PM

      Hey! I am usually not nervous. In my former job, I spoke at conferences often and had audiences of up to 500+ people, so I had to learn quickly how to just deal with it. If it’s a topic I am not well versed in, I might have a few butterflies, but pretty rare. Thank you!

      For me, it comes down to knowing the topic. And then it doesn’t matter if it’s 1 or 10,000 people. I’m talking about things I know, with people who are interested, and eventually, it’ll be done. If I can see the end, then I can be OK with it.

      Like

    Jules Mortimer said:
    May 6, 2017 at 3:10 AM

    I’m a very nervous person. I wish I wasn’t, but I haven’t yet found a cure. I was a very shy child, so I think some of it comes from that. I’ve got much better at hiding it now I’m almost 40, but it’s still very much there inside me. Sometimes I get so nervous the nerves in my wrists begin to tingle/tickle!

    Just the thought of public speaking makes me imagine an earthquake so it can gobble me up and get me out of there, so I avoid such situations like my life depends on it, ha ha 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      James J. Cudney IV responded:
      May 6, 2017 at 7:44 AM

      Sometimes it’s just stuck inside us, I totally get it. I just hit 40 this year, but I feel like I’m getting to a place where my nerves are no longer important. Nerves tickle/tingle… you’re getting advanced notice the nerves are coming! All depends on what you worry about. But don’t let it stop every situation!

      Liked by 1 person

    Maria Bardyukova said:
    May 6, 2017 at 7:51 AM

    Oh, this is so about me that is weird😄I’m a foreigner living in china, which means a lot of staring and discussing without lowering their voices even.
    Trying to grow a thick skin😁 love the idea of the challenge, do go on with it please!

    Liked by 1 person

      James J. Cudney IV responded:
      May 6, 2017 at 7:55 AM

      Thank you, I appreciate it. When I started, I thought “this won’t be too hard.” After 55 days, being unique is gonna push me over the edge! All in good humor tho.

      As for your living situation, WOW! Congrats on being brave enough to take the chance living elsewhere, especially in such a very different culture. Thick skin is important. And ultimately, who cares what they say… you’re there for a reason and you have goals in mind. There’s the focus!

      Liked by 1 person

    […] someone goes to when they need a bit of stabilization. I’ve had moments where I am nervous or fastidious to the point I seen neurotic (there is a word I should be choosing one day!), but […]

    Liked by 1 person

    Rae Longest said:
    May 12, 2017 at 4:19 PM

    I’m nervous when it’s a good thing to be nervous and can be sharp when I’m anxious or nervous as well. I used to be a lot more nervous when I was younger, but failing is “old hat” to me now, and fear of failing not a nerve-inducing thing anymore. I often think, What’s the worst case senario, and then if that does happen, then what’s the big deal? It takes the pressure off.

    Liked by 1 person

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