365 Challenge: Day 64 – Camera-Ready

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Camera-ready: (1) photogenic, in the right form and of good enough quality to be reproduced photographically onto a printing plate, (2) ready and able to take a picture

Today’s word has a double-meaning, at least when I think about how it applies to me. When people hear the word “camera-ready,” they likely think about whether they’re ready to go live on-air, but since most of us are not in the television or video profession where we have to spend a few extra minutes on our appearance, the definition is slightly different. It really means “are we ready to have our photo taken?” And the answer for me is undoubtedly “NO!”

For a variety of reasons, I am not a photogenic person. And this is not a commentary on whether I believe I am attractive or good-looking. The camera and I, be it video or photo, have a mutual hate/hate relationship. Here is why the camera is always cruel to me:

  1. A camera is only supposed to add 10 pounds, but I’m special and it allots 20 pounds for me. And in the weirdest places…
  2. Cameras find the devil inside me and show the brightest shade of red in place of my eyes. “Reality shining through?” I question…
  3. Even if I can find a tiny little smile to actually show up (smiling feels forced and awkward for me!), the camera decides only to take or keep the ones with the flat smile or the frown.
  4. Despite every intention I have of looking directly into the lens and holding still, I come out blurry and with my eyes in the middle of blinking. Next time I plan to try to glue them open.
  5. I’ve confessed to being quite pale, but the camera thinks of me as a ghost and chooses to lighten it up even more, almost to the point of translucent skin. I might be part vampire.

Five is enough, though I could go on forever. Whether it’s a good camera or a bad one, a friend taking the photo or a selfie, or even when I had a few done by a professional photographer for LinkedIn or school photos, I’m a mess in it. And it’s not the photographer’s fault… it’s just me! But I am OK with it. We are not all camera-ready. But I am envious of those who are able to just turn around so the flash catches them in the right position, and they end up looking perfect.

How???? OK, I’ll stop ranting. If you’re lucky enough to be one of those people, cherish it. It’s a good talent or skill or natural ability to have. I could never be an actor, nor anyone in front of the camera as part of my job. And if I ever become famous and need to do TV spots or videos, I’ll find a stand-in. It’ll be better for everyone involved… what should take 30 seconds to capture the right look will undoubtedly take 30 minutes for me.

But that’s not the only problem I have with a camera. I cannot take a good picture to save my life. Love that expression, by the way… “Take my photo. And if it’s not perfect, I’ll kill you!” That’ll probably be how I leave this planet some time in the future. A random drive-by camera-skills death. Gives new meaning to the phrase, “Stop or I’ll shoot.”

I’m also not inclined to retrieve my phone or a camera to take the photo. It’s not something that naturally happens in my mind. Some people are always snapping photos, sending them away on SnapChat or Instagram. By the time I get it all sorted out, I’m exhausted and then to try to upload it and provide some witty comment… it’s not the technical know-how… I’m good with all things digital. I just find the whole process tedious. But I love looking at other people’s photos… my better-half has given me a photo album as one of my Christmas presents for the last 5 years, highlighting all the photos of us and our friends and family from that previous year. All the photos are loaded onto our AppleTV as the screensaver, which means anytime the screen is not moving (and you’re not actively watching a show), thousands of random photos circulate. Kinda fun to see everything show up from over the years from both our families.

So… when it comes to the camera, I’m not strong on either side of it. I leave that to other people. The best I can manage is the occasional group shot for other people, when randomly asked on the street to take someone else’s photo. And I’m fine with that… we can’t be good at everything all the time. And I like to admit my faults. Wait… no, I don’t. Ugh, why don’t I just end here for today.

About Me & the “365 Daily Challenge”

I’m Jay and I live in NYC. By profession, I work in technology. By passion, I work in writing. I’ve always been a reader. And now I’m a daily blogger. I decided to start my own version of the “365 Daily Challenge” where since March 13, 2017, I’ve posted a characteristic either I currently embody or one I’d like to embody in the future. 365 days of reflection to discover who I am and what I want out of life.

The goal: Knowledge. Acceptance. Understanding. Optimization. Happiness. Help. For myself. For others. And if all else fails, humor. When I’m finished in one year, I hope to have more answers about the future and what I will do with the remainder of my life. All aspects to be considered. It’s not just about a career, hobbies, residence, activities, efforts, et al. It’s meant to be a comprehensive study and reflection from an ordinary man. Not a doctor. Not a therapist. Not a friend. Not an encyclopedia full of prior research. Just pure thought, a blogged journal with true honesty.

Join the fun and read a new post each day, or check out my book reviews, TV/Film reviews or favorite vacation spots. And feel free to like, rate, comment or take the poll for each post. Note: All written content is my original creation and copyrighted to me, but the graphics and images were linked from other sites and belong to them. Many thanks to their original creators.

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8 thoughts on “365 Challenge: Day 64 – Camera-Ready

    E. Michael Helms, writer said:
    May 15, 2017 at 8:59 AM

    Man, I can SO identify with this post. Both my daughters are very photogenic; the gene trail must’ve skipped over me! 🙂
    –Michael

    Liked by 1 person

    Books, Vertigo and Tea said:
    May 15, 2017 at 9:27 AM

    I have to be 100 % honest with you here. You cannot put a picture like that in the beginning of your post and expect me to be able to focus on anything else!!! Bahaha… rolling out of my chair. What on Earth.. cannot unsee.

    Liked by 1 person

      James J. Cudney IV responded:
      May 15, 2017 at 9:32 AM

      Ha! Should I move it to the end? LOL I found it when I searched for a few GIFs for the post. It isn’t actually me… but I probably would look like that with the extra art! Sorry…. 🙂 But now I’m laughing just as hard.

      Liked by 1 person

        Books, Vertigo and Tea said:
        May 15, 2017 at 1:25 PM

        It is terrifying and hilarious.. you could print it and make cut-outs and leave them in random place (fridge, etc) and really give people a go. Sigh.. I guess we know how I spend my free time now haha 😉

        Like

        James J. Cudney IV responded:
        May 15, 2017 at 1:40 PM

        talk about terrifying and hilarious… cut-outs in random places??? LOL

        Liked by 1 person

    Rae Longest said:
    May 15, 2017 at 6:55 PM

    Your first picture gave me a start! I thought, “What happened to that poor boy?” LOL It is so alarmingly awful that it’s not funny! LOL Your “camera issues” and mine are very similar. When I see a photo of myself, I think, “Who is that poor old lady?” NO KIDDING! It’s like catching a glimpse of yourself on a closed circuit TV and not recognizing yourself. I am not a good photographer either. I can’t get the camera to hold still, or in the case of my cat, can’t get the subject to stay still. It’s hopeless!

    Liked by 1 person

      James J. Cudney IV responded:
      May 15, 2017 at 8:34 PM

      I am sorry! I think it’s a picture from ether SnapChat or Instagram. I found it online.

      You and I have so much in common. I can see you trying to take the photo of your cat. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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