365 Challenge: Day 86 – Only-Child

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Only-Child: a person with no siblings, either biological or adopted

old child

As I awoke this morning, two ideas scratched the surface of my sleepy mind: (1) you are an only child, and (2) you wish you could dance [thanks for a certain someone for putting this in my mind yesterday]. Since I’m not prepared to discuss dancing, we’ll go with me being an only-child as today’s 365 Daily Challenge topic, despite it not being a characteristic; instead it is a noun, but I’ve allowed this a few times in the past.

The first thing I did, so as not to create my own suggestions as to what it means to be an only-child, was to google only-child syndrome. There’s no hyphen, by the way; but I’m being a bad-ass today and including it! The first article I stumbled across noted 12 things people assume about us only-children. The link is included, as they own the original idea, but below are my thoughts and impressions of those 12 items:

http://aidanneal.com/2014/08/14/12-things-you-should-know-about-only-child-syndrome/

1. People automatically assume we’re spoilt.

  • I was not spoiled during my childhood. I did not get everything I wanted, nor was I smothered. I didn’t ask for a lot, so I did get most things I asked for unless they were too expensive. But we really didn’t go on a lot of vacations. We split the cost of my first car, a used ten-year Oldsmobile. I didn’t get new clothes all the time. I had to help around the house and in the yard.

2. People automatically assume we’re selfish.

  • I am in the middle. I am a very generous person, but I can be selfish when it comes to things being equally divided. I was much more focused on this when I was younger, e.g. inspected everything to be sure we each got 50% or we took turns all the time. Now I’m less focused on selfish things, but I probably was considered selfish when younger.

3. Most every reaction we have is attributed to misconceptions of our upbringing.

  • Um… no. I hardly ever think about it. I have a few things I attribute to the way I was raised or what it was like being an only-child, but definitely no more than anyone else.

4. We’re most likely achievement oriented.

  • Yes, I base everything I do on how much I accomplished. I’m very goal-oriented and need to track progress, often to a fault.

5. Patience is just not our virtue.

  • This one is similar to being selfish. When I was younger, I was not patient. I’m much more practical about it now. If I notice myself getting frustrated over things taking too long or not going my way, I do things to prevent it or calm it. It doesn’t happen often, and it’s usually over very very big things or extremely minor things.
    • I lost my patience a couple of weeks ago when I was dusting. Yes, dusting. I had cleaned an entire bookshelf and by the time I got to the last one, I noticed dust floating back up to the top one. And I couldn’t get it to go away. I was not a happy camper for a few minutes. So I went and stood outside, looking at the flowers until I relaxed. Silly, but it happened.

6. We have a total disregard for anyone’s feelings or thoughts but our own.

  • Absolutely not. Quite the opposite. I’m so caught up in pleasing other people that I often let my own feelings sit on the side.

7. Alone time and/or moments of silence are detrimentally essential.

  • Yes, very true. I can’t be around a group of people for more than two hours without needing a break. I’m very uncomfortable in large gathering places, rarely going to music concerts or sporting events. Even when I’m having fun, I need to step away to not feel overwhelmed. Silence and solitude have always been my friends.

8. We’re not anti-social and we’re not altogether introverts.

  • Exactly! I’m in the middle. I claim to be an introvert, and when I want to be alone, you better leave me alone. But if I want to play, you better want to play.

perfect

9. Attention seeking behavior is nonsensical to us.

  • I’m not sure I understand this one, but I know I’ve done a few things in the past to seek attention. I was likely feeling too alone or too needy over something, so I attempted to find ways to get a little focus on me. Nothing extreme, but I’d act silly or push myself to be something different. It’s not nonsensical, it’s more peculiar and unusual.

10. We’re really good at keeping secrets.

  • Quite true. I’m a lock-box when it comes to secrets. It goes in one ear and doesn’t know how to come back out. Gets lost up in there. Too many distractions and places to hide. Cobwebs also keep things intact.

11. We’re unforgiving.

  • Oh, unfortunately, I do need to admit this one. I actually can hold a grudge, even over small things. I’ve always lived by the “do unto others as you wish done to you” mantra. And in the past, if you did something I didn’t think was right, you were knocked down a peg on the scale. After too many pegs were chipped away, I distanced myself from you and found new people to climb the ladder. Foolish, I know. I was young. Now, I still have an initial reaction to push away people who don’t live up to my expectations or hurt me, but I am less harsh about it. And it takes much longer.

12. We’re more mature.

  • I think this is true in 90% of the cases. Apart from some personality flaws (things mentioned above), I tend to be very mature in most everything I do. I’ve always been a good 10 to 15 years older than my true age. But there is definitely a case for 10% of the time when I still act like a child or a party boy. Maturity for me started early. As a toddler, I wanted to be in school. In middle school, I wanted to be done and working. In college, I wanted to be married with children. Now, I want to be retired. But it’s really my mindset that I find is mature. I often think about things as though I’ve had more experience in life than I actually have had. It’s why I call myself an old-soul.

syndrome.jpg

How about you? Are you an only-child? Do you have only one child? Do you think these are accurate, or are tools like this really not pertinent since we’re all different?

About Me & the “365 Daily Challenge”

I’m Jay and I live in NYC. By profession, I work in technology. By passion, I work in writing. I’ve always been a reader. And now I’m a daily blogger. I decided to start my own version of the “365 Daily Challenge” where since March 13, 2017, I’ve posted a characteristic either I currently embody or one I’d like to embody in the future. 365 days of reflection to discover who I am and what I want out of life.

The goal: Knowledge. Acceptance. Understanding. Optimization. Happiness. Help. For myself. For others. And if all else fails, humor. When I’m finished in one year, I hope to have more answers about the future and what I will do with the remainder of my life. All aspects to be considered. It’s not just about a career, hobbies, residence, activities, efforts, et al. It’s meant to be a comprehensive study and reflection from an ordinary man. Not a doctor. Not a therapist. Not a friend. Not an encyclopedia full of prior research. Just pure thought, a blogged journal with true honesty.

Join the fun and read a new post each day, or check out my book reviews, TV/Film reviews or favorite vacation spots. And feel free to like, rate, comment or take the poll for each post. Note: All written content is my original creation and copyrighted to me, but the graphics and images were linked from other sites and belong to them. Many thanks to their original creators.

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34 thoughts on “365 Challenge: Day 86 – Only-Child

    Lana (Sleepless in wherever) said:
    June 6, 2017 at 8:07 AM

    That one’s 50/50 for me. Some things are exactly written about me, others I just laughed at. Once again you realise that you can’t put people in a box, they just find ways to wiggle out of it 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    N. N. Light said:
    June 6, 2017 at 8:18 AM

    How funny that there’s a syndrome attached to being an only child. I suspect that, like everything else in this world, it depends on who you are as a person and the environment you grew up in. I’m an only child and I hated being an only child. I had many imaginary friends to keep me from being too lonely. Maybe that’s why it’s natural for me to create stories… I’ve been doing it since I was little.

    Maybe we should form an only-child club, Jay. lol!

    Liked by 1 person

      James J. Cudney IV responded:
      June 6, 2017 at 9:09 AM

      That’s a brilliant idea. Very exclusive! 🙂 I wish I had siblings too.

      Liked by 1 person

        N. N. Light said:
        June 6, 2017 at 9:32 AM

        I lucked out and married a man who has three brothers and sisters. Lots of siblings now, maybe too much. lol! Just kidding, I love ’em all.

        Liked by 1 person

        James J. Cudney IV responded:
        June 6, 2017 at 9:34 AM

        Best of both works then!

        Liked by 1 person

    Norin said:
    June 6, 2017 at 8:24 AM

    I’m not an only child. I have two siblings who are 7 years/5 years older than me, but because of the big age difference, I think I am technically like an only child at least for my parents. My big brother used to complain about me for being spoiled, too -saying that my father doted on me too much and got me almost everything I wanted. I don’t think I was as spoiled as my brother claimed I was, I did have to put up with a lot of things, but I must admit my father was rather lenient with me, too.
    As for introverts, definitely I am. I love being alone. I definitely need my me-time to reflect on myself every now and then. That’s probably the reason why I love reading because I get to shove everything out of my mind and immerse myself in the world of the story, being completely alone.

    Liked by 1 person

      James J. Cudney IV responded:
      June 6, 2017 at 9:27 AM

      You probably felt a lot of the same things as an only child given the age difference. Especially given being an introvert and the youngest. Are you close now with them?

      Liked by 1 person

        Norin said:
        June 6, 2017 at 9:34 AM

        With my sister, yes. But with my brother, no. I’d want to think we used to, but he gradually drifted away after he married. We may not have been close at all. Something had definitely changed at that point.

        Liked by 1 person

        James J. Cudney IV responded:
        June 6, 2017 at 9:36 AM

        Sorry to hear. Maybe in the future! Glad you have your sister tho!

        Liked by 1 person

        Norin said:
        June 6, 2017 at 9:37 AM

        That’s fine. I got used to it. ‘Used to’ might not be a proper word in this context though lol

        Liked by 1 person

        James J. Cudney IV responded:
        June 6, 2017 at 9:41 AM

        True

        Liked by 1 person

        Norin said:
        June 6, 2017 at 9:45 AM

        lol

        Liked by 1 person

    susandyer1962 said:
    June 6, 2017 at 8:26 AM

    Wow! I learned so much about you Jay! I hate when th as t happens to me with the dust too!

    The baby gif is so very creepy!! I need to get that out of my head right now! Haha

    Liked by 1 person

      James J. Cudney IV responded:
      June 6, 2017 at 9:30 AM

      Sorry! I know. I was kinda perplexed and wasn’t sure I wanted to post it! Hope for day is going better than yesterday.

      Like

    mistysbookspace said:
    June 6, 2017 at 8:35 AM

    I’m not an only child I have a sister who’s 4 years older than me and I have 2 step sisters and 1 step brother who are all older than me as well. Yes I am the baby of the family!!

    Liked by 1 person

      James J. Cudney IV responded:
      June 6, 2017 at 9:30 AM

      Fun being the youngest?

      Liked by 1 person

        mistysbookspace said:
        June 6, 2017 at 9:37 AM

        Yeah I guess. I mean my sister would say I was spoiled and I would agree to some extent but I still got in trouble and I wasn’t allowed to do whatever I want like most people think. I was just a very shy kid so I never did anything that would get me in trouble. Well I shouldn’t say never LOL!!

        Liked by 1 person

        James J. Cudney IV responded:
        June 6, 2017 at 9:41 AM

        Lol

        Liked by 1 person

    Sassy Brit (Reviewer) said:
    June 6, 2017 at 9:07 AM

    I’m the baby of the family, too. I do have an only child son, though. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

      James J. Cudney IV responded:
      June 6, 2017 at 9:32 AM

      Thx for the share. Is he glad to be an only kid? I kinda wanted siblings but also liked it.

      Liked by 1 person

        Sassy Brit (Reviewer) said:
        June 6, 2017 at 3:22 PM

        He says he wanted brothers, but he also likes it too, I guess the same way you do. There are advantages, which he is more appreciative of now, as he’s grown older. It seems the advantages of being an only child are often what others think of as disadvantages… As a parent, one child is definitely cheaper. 😀

        Liked by 1 person

        James J. Cudney IV responded:
        June 6, 2017 at 3:26 PM

        Very true.

        Like

    Nel said:
    June 6, 2017 at 9:08 AM

    I’m not an only child but I probably should have been. Now though, I’m the making a family with my friends type of person. I’m a lot more social than I was earlier in life. I was an only child for about 18 months of my life and I was the first of all my cousins so sometimes I’m considered the golden child for that and other reasons.

    Liked by 1 person

    Kristin said:
    June 6, 2017 at 2:43 PM

    My sister married when I was 8. She is 9 years older than I am. I felt like an only child. Some of these apply to me and others do not.

    My husband is an only child. He was spoiled and he had to work through maturity issues because of it. His parents still try to baby him.

    I am definitely introverted. Spoiled-far from it. I’m the “bad child” of the family and was afforded very little warmth. My sister is the apple of my mom’s eye and I will never measure up. And…I don’t care.

    Liked by 1 person

      James J. Cudney IV responded:
      June 6, 2017 at 3:04 PM

      At least you know where you stand and can push past it. Ah yes, the maturity of us only children!

      Liked by 1 person

        Kristin said:
        June 6, 2017 at 3:08 PM

        Well, it’s one of those deals where I’m actually the one with her head on straight and that treats her better. But, she has it in her head that I’m the horrible kid. So, I just don’t care. Not gonna stop loving her or being kind but I don’t base my happiness on her or her silly opinions 😜

        Liked by 1 person

        James J. Cudney IV responded:
        June 6, 2017 at 3:26 PM

        Smart approach. You can’t force someone to change an opinion even if it isn’t fair a or right.

        Liked by 1 person

    […] I’ve posted before, I am an only-child, but both of my parents have a bunch of siblings who all grew up on Long Island. I have around 15 […]

    Liked by 1 person

    Rae Longest said:
    June 17, 2017 at 5:13 PM

    This was interesting. I have one brother 4 and one half years younger. I was the first child, first grandchild on both sides, but he was the first BOY. Thus, we were both firstborns and treated like only children to a degree.

    Liked by 1 person

    ayomidefanuhan said:
    October 23, 2017 at 10:16 AM

    Reblogged this on My Strength In Words and commented:
    Just an example of what it feels to be an only child!

    Liked by 1 person

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