celery

365 Challenge: Day 139 – Stalkery

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Stalkery: characterized by or displaying an obsessive and inappropriate or unwelcome interest in someone

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I finished reading the book Hidden Bodies by Caroline Kepnes last night before bed. Review will be posted later today or tomorrow. It’s about a serial stalker who will scare the <<insert your choice of expletives>> out of you, but if you’re like me, you’ll fall in love with him and dream about… well, let’s just stop there. As I thought about the 365 Daily Challenge word, for the pure fun of it, I searched the word ‘stalkery’ expecting nothing to return. But it’s a real word in the Oxford English dictionary. Yet, it’s got the wavy red line underneath it in Word and WordPress, telling me to fix my stupid spelling error. But apparently I do not need to fix it when Oxford says it’s legal — the spelling of the word, not the act of stalking… don’t get those two things confused! Then I searched for an image… and it’s really a true statement, people will put pictures up of EVERYTHING they do on the Internet. It seems destined for the 365 Word to be stalkery today, so let’s just go with it, shall we?

Stalkers are bad things. You really don’t want one. If you’re interpreting the excess attention as a wonderful, loving and caring gesture from a person whom you don’t know very well, you might need to spend time talking through those feelings with someone else (other than said stalker), as it’s probably not healthy. I myself in reality do not want a stalker, but in my head, it might be kind of fun to stalk the stalker in return. Unless I’d get a little confused as to who was stalking who, what the purpose of it all was, and how to safely exit the game… not unlike how it happened on the TV show Pretty Little Liars — all too frequently. If you’ve never watched it, multiple stalkers torture a group of girls over a six year period to the point where you almost want to lose your own mind. And at the source of it all is social media!

Which is what’s on my mind this morning… stalking by way of social media, in respect to how much information you actually post about yourself on each of the different websites or apps. I’ve previously mentioned all the platforms I use, so no need to duplicate efforts; however, when you put yourself out there on 1 or 2 of them, you suddenly receive all the links and suggestions indicating “you’re friends with X on site Y, here they are on our site.” And sometimes I think to myself… there’s an alien behind all these computers laughing at us while it collects every bit of information to eventually use against us! Despite coming from a technology background and finding all of these tools quite valuable, it certainly makes me wonder when enough is enough.

People can legitimately stalk you on social media! On one hand, I find it a bit alarming. All that information they know about me… On another hand, so what? If I’m posting a message on one site, who cares if someone finds it on another site and starts following me. Isn’t that the point? If you’re on all the apps, you want to chat with other people. And if you don’t want to talk to anyone but instead simply just read what’s happening to others, then create a fake name and don’t have any connection to your real identity. Become the stalker instead of the stalked. {Aside: I am not advocating stalking other people. This is not healthy and please do not tell the police it was my recommendation. Thank you.}

ceelry

Too funny not to post – blood in celery? I don’t get it…

Then you’ve got the people who find you on one site and purposely search for you on every other site. Sometimes they connect all at once. Sometimes they patiently wait it out over a few weeks, hoping you don’t realize it. Other times, they send invites asking you to join the site they’re already on. Stalkery. Seems like a good word to describe it. Rather than hunt ’em down the old-fashioned way (follow down a dark path), hide behind the Internet walls. It’s still a form of remaining hidden, and it can be quite useful, especially to people trying to sell things… that’s the stalkery type that bother me most often. Someone sees you looked at their site and suddenly they message or follow you. Yikes! What do they want? Run. But I don’t. I tend to accept those types of requests if it’s someone who seems to have a good product or service. Everyone needs to try to market their stuff, so I get it. I can choose to follow them or decline them. It’s just part of the process.

No, don’t drown me in that Bloody Mary! Oh, that’s where the blood is…

What I mostly worry about is how revealing to be in my 365 Daily Challenge posts. Once you start listing places you’ve lived, hobbies, or family member names, stalkers do have a goldmine of information to recreate your identity. I check my credit report and other sites every month or two; I am cautious in looking out for those types of things. I think I’ve got that covered. And I really don’t expect someone to become obsessed me with based on seeing the words I write in my posts… I’m good, sure… {Aside: Where’s that post on humility versus being a jackass right now… it’s like I’m patting my own back here… honestly, the nerve I have…} but not that good. And if you’re my hidden stalker reading this right now, ‘Please be kind. I’ve done nothing to hurt you. We can go for dinner and talk about it. On your dime.’

So when it comes to being stalkery, I’d suggest knowing that line before your cross it. Yes, send a friendly message. No, don’t try to search for someone new on every site the second you meet them — unless they advertise on their website how and where to find them. Then it’s OK. If you’re trying to find me, have at it any which way you please! I chose to put the content online. I won’t put anything I’d fear you finding out. And I love the connections, hence being happy to chat across all platforms. But I understand not everyone is like that. Even though parts of the book last night certainly freaked me out a bit, in a way, I admired the main character for having the guts to be himself and just go for it. {Aside: If the cops are reading this in the future, this is not an acknowledgement on my part that I condone stalking or am in the process of currently stalking anyone.}

That celery is stalking the poor Golden puppy… help him please!

For a minor bit of humor, the word stalkery reminds me of the word celery. And the picture I included above hints at celery. It kinda sounds the same. So maybe since the word doesn’t really exist outside Oxford, we’ll start saying celery instead of stalkery. And this my online friends… is why I write the 365 posts after I’ve had coffee and not before I’ve had coffee. You end up with some really bad humor and silly memes otherwise.

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RECOMMENDED BLOGGER

  • Today’s 365 Daily Challenge recommended blogger to know is Dee @ Rad Reads and Reviews. To be clear, the 365 Word has absolutely nothing to do with the Blogger of the day — I’ve pre-planned the bloggers for the next few weeks. It’s just the luck of the draw when I pick the 365 Word.
    • Dee and I connected on Goodreads at least six months ago, frequently checking out each others reviews, sharing recommendations and talking about new releases. We realized at some point that both of us had WordPress blogs and began following each other on here, too. Now we’re constantly trying to remember if we read the other person’s review on Goodreads or on WordPress, as you never know which ones pops up first in your notifications or activity log. But that’s OK because she reads fantastic books in tons of genres. I’m constantly finding new releases that I missed during my own searches, choosing new and old books from her read and to-be-read list. We also have a lot of the same online friends in our inner circle on Goodreads, as far as who we’re always chatting with, constantly surprised (or maybe not) when we meet other people who already know the other person. If you ever need a book recommendation, or just want to chat about the silly end of a book you both loved and hated at the same time, Dee’s the one to chat with! If you don’t believe me, check out the below blurb from her About Me section and then go visit the site yourself:
    • “I am an avid reader in my early 40’s.   I joined Goodreads a few years ago to keep track of books I had read, and books I wanted to read. It wasn’t long before I started writing reviews for the books I had read. Next I joined NetGalley and found even more books to read and review!  I love to give my thoughts and opinions on what I have read and eventually decided to create this blog in order to keep all of my reviews in one place.”

 

About Me & the “365 Daily Challenge”

I’m Jay and I live in NYC. By profession, I work in technology. By passion, I work in writing. I’ve always been a reader. And now I’m a daily blogger. I decided to start my own version of the “365 Daily Challenge” where since March 13, 2017, I’ve posted a characteristic either I currently embody or one I’d like to embody in the future. 365 days of reflection to discover who I am and what I want out of life.

The goal: Knowledge. Acceptance. Understanding. Optimization. Happiness. Help. For myself. For others. And if all else fails, humor. When I’m finished in one year, I hope to have more answers about the future and what I will do with the remainder of my life. All aspects to be considered. It’s not just about a career, hobbies, residence, activities, efforts, et al. It’s meant to be a comprehensive study and reflection from an ordinary man. Not a doctor. Not a therapist. Not a friend. Not an encyclopedia full of prior research. Just pure thought, a blogged journal with true honesty.

Join the fun and read a new post each day, or check out my book reviews, TV/Film reviews or favorite vacation spots. And feel free to like, rate, comment or take the poll for each post. Note: All written content is my original creation and copyrighted to me, but the graphics and images were linked from other sites and belong to them. Many thanks to their original creators.

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