humor

365 Challenge: Day 139 – Stalkery

Posted on Updated on

Stalkery: characterized by or displaying an obsessive and inappropriate or unwelcome interest in someone

stalk

I finished reading the book Hidden Bodies by Caroline Kepnes last night before bed. Review will be posted later today or tomorrow. It’s about a serial stalker who will scare the <<insert your choice of expletives>> out of you, but if you’re like me, you’ll fall in love with him and dream about… well, let’s just stop there. As I thought about the 365 Daily Challenge word, for the pure fun of it, I searched the word ‘stalkery’ expecting nothing to return. But it’s a real word in the Oxford English dictionary. Yet, it’s got the wavy red line underneath it in Word and WordPress, telling me to fix my stupid spelling error. But apparently I do not need to fix it when Oxford says it’s legal — the spelling of the word, not the act of stalking… don’t get those two things confused! Then I searched for an image… and it’s really a true statement, people will put pictures up of EVERYTHING they do on the Internet. It seems destined for the 365 Word to be stalkery today, so let’s just go with it, shall we?

Stalkers are bad things. You really don’t want one. If you’re interpreting the excess attention as a wonderful, loving and caring gesture from a person whom you don’t know very well, you might need to spend time talking through those feelings with someone else (other than said stalker), as it’s probably not healthy. I myself in reality do not want a stalker, but in my head, it might be kind of fun to stalk the stalker in return. Unless I’d get a little confused as to who was stalking who, what the purpose of it all was, and how to safely exit the game… not unlike how it happened on the TV show Pretty Little Liars — all too frequently. If you’ve never watched it, multiple stalkers torture a group of girls over a six year period to the point where you almost want to lose your own mind. And at the source of it all is social media!

Which is what’s on my mind this morning… stalking by way of social media, in respect to how much information you actually post about yourself on each of the different websites or apps. I’ve previously mentioned all the platforms I use, so no need to duplicate efforts; however, when you put yourself out there on 1 or 2 of them, you suddenly receive all the links and suggestions indicating “you’re friends with X on site Y, here they are on our site.” And sometimes I think to myself… there’s an alien behind all these computers laughing at us while it collects every bit of information to eventually use against us! Despite coming from a technology background and finding all of these tools quite valuable, it certainly makes me wonder when enough is enough.

People can legitimately stalk you on social media! On one hand, I find it a bit alarming. All that information they know about me… On another hand, so what? If I’m posting a message on one site, who cares if someone finds it on another site and starts following me. Isn’t that the point? If you’re on all the apps, you want to chat with other people. And if you don’t want to talk to anyone but instead simply just read what’s happening to others, then create a fake name and don’t have any connection to your real identity. Become the stalker instead of the stalked. {Aside: I am not advocating stalking other people. This is not healthy and please do not tell the police it was my recommendation. Thank you.}

ceelry

Too funny not to post – blood in celery? I don’t get it…

Then you’ve got the people who find you on one site and purposely search for you on every other site. Sometimes they connect all at once. Sometimes they patiently wait it out over a few weeks, hoping you don’t realize it. Other times, they send invites asking you to join the site they’re already on. Stalkery. Seems like a good word to describe it. Rather than hunt ’em down the old-fashioned way (follow down a dark path), hide behind the Internet walls. It’s still a form of remaining hidden, and it can be quite useful, especially to people trying to sell things… that’s the stalkery type that bother me most often. Someone sees you looked at their site and suddenly they message or follow you. Yikes! What do they want? Run. But I don’t. I tend to accept those types of requests if it’s someone who seems to have a good product or service. Everyone needs to try to market their stuff, so I get it. I can choose to follow them or decline them. It’s just part of the process.

No, don’t drown me in that Bloody Mary! Oh, that’s where the blood is…

What I mostly worry about is how revealing to be in my 365 Daily Challenge posts. Once you start listing places you’ve lived, hobbies, or family member names, stalkers do have a goldmine of information to recreate your identity. I check my credit report and other sites every month or two; I am cautious in looking out for those types of things. I think I’ve got that covered. And I really don’t expect someone to become obsessed me with based on seeing the words I write in my posts… I’m good, sure… {Aside: Where’s that post on humility versus being a jackass right now… it’s like I’m patting my own back here… honestly, the nerve I have…} but not that good. And if you’re my hidden stalker reading this right now, ‘Please be kind. I’ve done nothing to hurt you. We can go for dinner and talk about it. On your dime.’

So when it comes to being stalkery, I’d suggest knowing that line before your cross it. Yes, send a friendly message. No, don’t try to search for someone new on every site the second you meet them — unless they advertise on their website how and where to find them. Then it’s OK. If you’re trying to find me, have at it any which way you please! I chose to put the content online. I won’t put anything I’d fear you finding out. And I love the connections, hence being happy to chat across all platforms. But I understand not everyone is like that. Even though parts of the book last night certainly freaked me out a bit, in a way, I admired the main character for having the guts to be himself and just go for it. {Aside: If the cops are reading this in the future, this is not an acknowledgement on my part that I condone stalking or am in the process of currently stalking anyone.}

That celery is stalking the poor Golden puppy… help him please!

For a minor bit of humor, the word stalkery reminds me of the word celery. And the picture I included above hints at celery. It kinda sounds the same. So maybe since the word doesn’t really exist outside Oxford, we’ll start saying celery instead of stalkery. And this my online friends… is why I write the 365 posts after I’ve had coffee and not before I’ve had coffee. You end up with some really bad humor and silly memes otherwise.

sdsjgdjsdhs

RECOMMENDED BLOGGER

  • Today’s 365 Daily Challenge recommended blogger to know is Dee @ Rad Reads and Reviews. To be clear, the 365 Word has absolutely nothing to do with the Blogger of the day — I’ve pre-planned the bloggers for the next few weeks. It’s just the luck of the draw when I pick the 365 Word.
    • Dee and I connected on Goodreads at least six months ago, frequently checking out each others reviews, sharing recommendations and talking about new releases. We realized at some point that both of us had WordPress blogs and began following each other on here, too. Now we’re constantly trying to remember if we read the other person’s review on Goodreads or on WordPress, as you never know which ones pops up first in your notifications or activity log. But that’s OK because she reads fantastic books in tons of genres. I’m constantly finding new releases that I missed during my own searches, choosing new and old books from her read and to-be-read list. We also have a lot of the same online friends in our inner circle on Goodreads, as far as who we’re always chatting with, constantly surprised (or maybe not) when we meet other people who already know the other person. If you ever need a book recommendation, or just want to chat about the silly end of a book you both loved and hated at the same time, Dee’s the one to chat with! If you don’t believe me, check out the below blurb from her About Me section and then go visit the site yourself:
    • “I am an avid reader in my early 40’s.   I joined Goodreads a few years ago to keep track of books I had read, and books I wanted to read. It wasn’t long before I started writing reviews for the books I had read. Next I joined NetGalley and found even more books to read and review!  I love to give my thoughts and opinions on what I have read and eventually decided to create this blog in order to keep all of my reviews in one place.”

 

About Me & the “365 Daily Challenge”

I’m Jay and I live in NYC. By profession, I work in technology. By passion, I work in writing. I’ve always been a reader. And now I’m a daily blogger. I decided to start my own version of the “365 Daily Challenge” where since March 13, 2017, I’ve posted a characteristic either I currently embody or one I’d like to embody in the future. 365 days of reflection to discover who I am and what I want out of life.

The goal: Knowledge. Acceptance. Understanding. Optimization. Happiness. Help. For myself. For others. And if all else fails, humor. When I’m finished in one year, I hope to have more answers about the future and what I will do with the remainder of my life. All aspects to be considered. It’s not just about a career, hobbies, residence, activities, efforts, et al. It’s meant to be a comprehensive study and reflection from an ordinary man. Not a doctor. Not a therapist. Not a friend. Not an encyclopedia full of prior research. Just pure thought, a blogged journal with true honesty.

Join the fun and read a new post each day, or check out my book reviews, TV/Film reviews or favorite vacation spots. And feel free to like, rate, comment or take the poll for each post. Note: All written content is my original creation and copyrighted to me, but the graphics and images were linked from other sites and belong to them. Many thanks to their original creators.

Advertisements

Review: The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales

Posted on Updated on

The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales
The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales by Jon Scieszka

My rating: 4 of 5 stars



Book Review


4 out of 5 stars to The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales, a re-appropriation of classic fairy tales, published in 1992 by Jon Scieszka. What a hilarious book! Sometimes the classics need a little refresher, and when you add a dose if stupid and fun humor, how can you go wrong? The author and the artist have created a superb work for modern times, where children can easily do a read and compare between the versions of centuries ago and the modern re-telling that stand alongside. Not for the faint of heart, especially if you don’t want to see some of your favorite characters pushed and pulled a little! It’s one of those books where you just need to relax and enjoy it — don’t get caught up in the craziness of what the author’s done or said. Think of it as a way to compare old and new… and when the kids are old enough, it might be a tool to help them learn to love analyzing literature and comparing two things that are similar but very different. Take a chance! You know you wanna…



About Me


For those new to me or my reviews… here’s the scoop: I read A LOT. I write A LOT. And now I blog A LOT. First the book review goes on Goodreads, and then I send it on over to my WordPress blog at https://thisismytruthnow.com, where you’ll also find TV & Film reviews, the revealing and introspective 365 Daily Challenge and lots of blogging about places I’ve visited all over the world. And you can find all my social media profiles to get the details on the who/what/when/where and my pictures. Leave a comment and let me know what you think. Vote in the poll and ratings. Thanks for stopping by.

View all my reviews

Author: Spotlight on Jenn McKinlay

Posted on Updated on

As part of our Spotlight on the Author series, we’re now on our second week and I’ve completed nearly 350 reviews on the ThisIsMyTruthNow blog site. This week, I’ve selected… Jenn McKinlay!

______________________________________________________________________________

Jenn McKinlay writes romance, humor, suspense, and mystery fiction. To learn more about her, you can see her profile on Goodreads, her personal website or her Facebook profile.

Two of my favorite things about Jenn McKinlay is her creativity and her down-to-earth and humble personality. You can tell by all her posts [on Facebook about her family, vacations and the writing process] that she is a genuine and caring person. Reading things like those posts about an author help readers feel close to the people who create the stories they love, which in turn develops a strong fandom for the books being written. And she has a lot of books… mostly serial fiction… many of which I’ve read across multiple series. See below for some highlights.

mckinla

Book Series – Library Lovers Mysteries

Lindsey Norris, director of the Briar Creek Public Library, in Connecticut, has returned to her hometown after losing her position at a bigger library. She’s inherited an interesting group of employees at the new library, plus she’s falling for a few of the people who live around town. The book currently has 8 in the series and often focuses on books and libraries as part of the mystery thrills. Lindsey is a great character, full of fun and surprise. She seems a little reticent to get into a relationship, but it’s getting better. I can’t wait to meet her parents, especially having seen what her brother was like when he was the center of a mystery.

Book Series – Library Lovers Mysteries — Favorite Series

  1. Books Can Be Deceiving (2011)
  2. Due or Die (2012)
  3. Book, Line & Sinker (2012)
  4. Read It and Weep (2013)
  5. On Borrowed Time (2014)
  6. A Likely Story (2015)
  7. Better Late Than Never (2016)
  8. Death in the Stacks (2017)

Book Series – Cupcake Bakery Mysteries

The Cupcake Bakery mysteries feature owners Melanie “Mel” Cooper and Angela “Angie” DeLaura and contains 9 books in the series. These best friends are also openly embracing the dating world and trying to decide which one belongs with their male best friend! Reminds me a little bit of Hannah Swensen from the Joanne Fluke cozy mystery series.

  1. Sprinkle with Murder (2010)
  2. Buttercream Bump Off (2011)
  3. Death By the Dozen (2011)
  4. Red Velvet Revenge (2012)
  5. Going, Going, Ganache (2013)
  6. Sugar and Iced (2014)
  7. Dark Chocolate Demise (2015)
  8. Vanilla Beaned (2016)
  9. Caramel Crush (2017)

Book Series – Hat Shop Mysteries

Scarlett has left the US after a disastrous and public break-up, deciding England may be a better place to re-start her life. She comes to visit her cousin and helps run the hat shop, finding murder wherever she goes. I love cozy mystery books that take place in England. I’ve only read one to day, but just purchased the next two which are due to arrive this week. I’ll read them in June. The series has 5 books to date.

  1. Cloche and Dagger (2013)
  2. Death of a Mad Hatter (2014)
  3. At the Drop of a Hat (2015)
  4. Copy Cat Murder (2016)
  5. Assault & Beret (2017)

In addition to the above 3 series, Jenn also has some other books:

Book Series – Bluff Point Romance

A romance series featuring the dogs who in the main character’s lives. Contains 3 books in the series either currently published or about to be published.

  1. About a Dog (2017)
  2. Barking Up the Wrong Tree (2017)
  3. Every Dog Has His Day (2017)

Note: If there is an active link, I’ve completed a review.

Link to the Jenn McKinlay page where you will be able to return in the future to see when I post new reviews and book thoughts.

About Me

I’m Jay and I live in NYC. By profession, I work in technology. By passion, I work in writing. Once you hit my site “ThisIsMyTruthNow” at https://thisismytruthnow.com, you can join the fun and see my blog and various site content. You’ll find book reviews, published and in-progress fiction, TV/Film reviews, favorite vacation spots and my own version of the “365 Daily Challenge.” Since March 13, 2017, I’ve posted a characteristic either I currently embody or one I’d like to embody in the future. 365 days of reflection to discover who I am and what I want out of life… see how you compare! Each month, I will post a summary of a trip I’ve taken somewhere in the world. I’ll cover the transportation, hotel, restaurants, activities, who, what, when, where and why… and let you decide for yourself if it’s a trip worth taking. Feel free to like, rate, comment or take the poll for each post. Tell me what you think. Note: All content is my original creation and copyrighted to me, but the graphics and images were linked from other sites and belong to them. Many thanks to their original creators.

365 Challenge: Day 53 – Writer

Posted on

Writer: a person who writes (marks letters, words, or other symbols on a surface, typically paper, with a pen, pencil, or similar implement) books, stories, or articles as a job or regular occupation

After 50+ days of posts, and covering various characteristics such as creativity, reader, poetic, and lister, I’m sure you realize I am a writer. And if those weren’t clues, the amount of posts on my blog should be the true tell-all!

I do not plan to duplicate my thoughts on how I love to feel pen and paper in my hands, or type on a keyboard or use my creativity to bring life to characters, plots and settings. That’s all obvious, as you can see in the above clip… and BTW, I have never seen that show, but I loved the expression on her face when she said the words.

The reason I chose writer today is because I realized I’ve been so focused on reading, blogging and searching for a new job, I’d forgotten to focus on writing the last month. I spend a few hours each week researching literary agents who are looking for the type of fiction I write, and I customize my submissions prior to sending them off. BTW, it’s not an easy task. Each agent has a different preference, ranging from 5 pages to the entire manuscript, a query letter to a full synopsis, an author bio to links to your personal website. It’s a full-time job just preparing all that.

But in truth, I love it. There are days when suddenly it’s after 6pm and my significant other is on the way home… and I’m like… what did I accomplish today? Truth be told, I can usually tell roughly around that time how active Ryder (shiba inu dog) is… meaning if he’s throwing his stuffed toys at me on the couch, I know he needs play time. If he’s napping on the couch next to me, he wants me to keep working.

It’s the life of a writer. And it makes me happy. But it’s all about steps. And I’ve prepared my list of steps — overly generalized — but you get the point.

  1. Decide to focus on this as your career.
    • Done!
  2. Write the book.
    • Done!
  3. Search for agent.
    • In Progress
  4. Sign with agent.
    • Future
  5. Find publisher.
    • Future
  6. Sign with publisher.
    • Future
  7. Publish book.
    • Future
  8. Find fans and make them happy!
    • This should be happening the entire time, not only at the end.
    • In Progress

As you can see, I’m in the early stages for some of these steps. And I’m about to get focused on the next book. The outline is mostly written, so it’s about time to put the finishing touches on it and then begin writing the first chapter.

But I’ve also completed the first book. Took me about 4 months from start to finish, including working with 5 beta readers who helped provide feedback along the way. And then 5 other people read it and provided a few thoughts… all overwhelmingly positive, which helped push me even more.

I even created a website to start promoting the story and interact with potential readers. I’d love it if you took a look and provided some feedback. I’ve posted the prologue and first two chapters, as a teaser. If you hate it, tell me. Honestly. If it’s so-so, let me know what didn’t work. That’s how to improve. If you love it, share it! That’s all I ask. And if you’re not interest, that’s OK too. You can even read the chapters and choose not to reply. No pressure. You can find it at:

https://theglassfamily.wordpress.com/

What does this have to do with traits and my 365 Challenge?  It’s all a learning process, and since I’ve confessed to being shy, this is forcing me to put myself out there and connect with people rather than hiding behind a door or wall. And while online is a bit of hiding, you have to start somewhere. And after 50+ days, I’ve more than met my goal at letting people get to know me even more. It’s rare I’m an armadillo anymore…

About Me & the “365 Daily Challenge”

I’m Jay. I am 40 and live in NYC. By profession, I work in technology. By passion, I work in writing. I’ve always been a reader. And now I’m a daily blogger. I decided to start my own version of the “365 Daily Challenge” where since March 13, 2017, I’ve posted a characteristic either I currently embody or one I’d like to embody in the future. 365 days of reflection to discover who I am and what I want out of life.

The goal: Knowledge. Acceptance. Understanding. Optimization. Happiness. Help. For myself. For others. And if all else fails, humor. When I’m finished in one year, I hope to have more answers about the future and what I will do with the remainder of my life. All aspects to be considered. It’s not just about a career, hobbies, residence, activities, efforts, et al. It’s meant to be a comprehensive study and reflection from an ordinary man. Not a doctor. Not a therapist. Not a friend. Not an encyclopedia full of prior research. Just pure thought, a blogged journal with true honesty.

Join the fun and read a new post each day, or check out my book reviews, TV/Film reviews or favorite vacation spots. And feel free to like, rate, comment or take the poll for each post. Note: All written content is my original creation and copyrighted to me, but the graphics and images were linked from other sites and belong to them. Many thanks to their original creators.

365 Challenge: Day 52 – Wasteful

Posted on Updated on

Wasteful: using or expending something of value carelessly, extravagantly, or to no purpose

At different points in our lives, we all say aloud (or hear someone else tell us) “that was wasteful,” referring to something just done that we carelessly minimized when others so desperately needed it. Often we should have known better, but we do it anyway without thinking about the consequences because it’s become habitual. That said, as much as it is habitual for many of us, there are several people who work hard not to be wasteful and teach this to children at a young age.

To kick this one off… a few places I recognize I am wasteful — not all the time, but enough that I should call myself out.

  • Water
    • I run the water the entire time I’m washing dishes, rather than try to use only the amount needed and re-use where appropriate until the final rinse.
    • I leave the water running when I brush my teeth when I should leave it off  until the last second.
    • My showers are entirely too long and often run for a minute or two for the water to get hotter before I get inside. I should deal with the cold, stand to the side and wash my hair.

 You don’t care about my bathroom habits?

  •  Energy
    • I tend to leave lights on when I don’t really need them. Sometimes it’s for the dog, but a little goes a long way.
    • My building keeps the heat on from October thru May, and because I get so hot, I open the windows which likely makes the heat work a bit harder since I’m on the top floor. Can’t really change this…
  • Time / Money
    • I spend way too much time watching TV or on the computer when I should be out with people, in nature and learning.
    • Time is money, and therefore I’m wasting earning potential and income.
    • I can be frivolous when spending and should save more or donate more.
  • Food
    • I sometimes eat too much. And we all know how to fix that. (Shh… don’t say it aloud or it may come true)
    • I make too much food when I cook and am not good about eating leftovers.
    • I buy stuff, it expires, and I end up throwing it out. I need to be more pragmatic and plan meals in a better way.

And if they can do it, so can I!

Not so bad admitting faults, is it? I’m sure that only touches the surface of the areas where I’m being wasteful. And quite honestly, some of those are easy fixes that I should be more consistent about in the future.

Sometimes I get caught up realizing how unfortunate it is that I haven’t fixed this sooner, especially knowing the limits of these resources across the world. And while these posts are not meant to make anyone feel guilty or to preach, sometimes a gentle reminder helps implement positive changes. And that’s all I’m intending here… for any reader including myself.

This is me talking to myself right now!

Life is complicated. We should all figure out how to be part of the continuous cycle of improvement. And when we don’t work in jobs or volunteer in roles where we have direct impact on re-cycling, re-use or proper waste disposal, perhaps we should take 5 minutes a day to focus on it as a human being who cares about the world around us.

It begins with learning this as a child, so it feels almost inherent. Good habits will occur and help propagate even better ones with each year and generation. But there’s no time to start like the present if this hasn’t been built into you already. And with that, I’m off to see how to tone down my wasteful usage of time — it took 30 minutes for this post and I’m supposed to be down to 20 minutes a day at this point. Ugh… I hate missing the target.

About Me & the “365 Daily Challenge”

I’m Jay. I am 40 and live in NYC. By profession, I work in technology. By passion, I work in writing. I’ve always been a reader. And now I’m a daily blogger. I decided to start my own version of the “365 Daily Challenge” where since March 13, 2017, I’ve posted a characteristic either I currently embody or one I’d like to embody in the future. 365 days of reflection to discover who I am and what I want out of life.

The goal: Knowledge. Acceptance. Understanding. Optimization. Happiness. Help. For myself. For others. And if all else fails, humor. When I’m finished in one year, I hope to have more answers about the future and what I will do with the remainder of my life. All aspects to be considered. It’s not just about a career, hobbies, residence, activities, efforts, et al. It’s meant to be a comprehensive study and reflection from an ordinary man. Not a doctor. Not a therapist. Not a friend. Not an encyclopedia full of prior research. Just pure thought, a blogged journal with true honesty.

Join the fun and read a new post each day, or check out my book reviews, TV/Film reviews or favorite vacation spots. And feel free to like, rate, comment or take the poll for each post. Note: All written content is my original creation and copyrighted to me, but the graphics and images were linked from other sites and belong to them. Many thanks to their original creators.

365 Challenge: Day 51 – Retentive

Posted on Updated on

Retentive: having the ability to remember facts and impressions easily

As I thought about the best word to describe the characteristic to share today, I was a bit stumped. The goal was to converse about my memory; sometimes it is fantastic, but at others, it is very peculiar. I am definitely not forgetful, especially when it comes to tasks, events, responses; yet, there are things of importance in my past that one would think I’d easily recall, but I do not.

I took an alternative path to locating today’s word. I entered “forgetful” into the Google search field and then selected “antonym.” A few words popped up, none of which felt right except for possibly “retentive.” And when I looked up the definition, it seemed most appropriate, as facts are what I am good at remembering. Feelings and actions are what fail to come easily for me.

My memory is very strong in a wide range of areas, especially if numbers are involved.

  • I have been known to recall the date and hour of something happening from years ago, even if it seemed like a minor event, e.g. normal dinner with friends at a restaurant where we talked about fishing.
  • I can tell you the amount due on my electric bills for the last two years for almost every month in that period.
  • I recall interesting facts about things I’ve briefly studied but have little interest in.
  • I know where people sat at a dinner in a restaurant from years ago.
  • I recall people’s names even when I only knew them for a short period of time over twenty years ago.

But then there are times when I am a bit worried that there’s something wrong with me:

  • I forget the word I need to use, or I simply say the wrong word. And it doesn’t even sound anything like the word I meant to say.
  • I recall very little about my childhood and have maybe only 10 memories prior to 13 years old.
  • I cannot remember going to see certain plays or shows, movies, restaurants or museums, even when I liked them.

When I step back to analyze this as a whole, I see a few things in common, but also a few things that don’t add up. I’m not really sure if there is a pattern, but I am a little worried about the future. It doesn’t seem like I have any sort of early signs id an illness, as I have very strong memories for things in the past and the current, so it’s not short-term or long-term loss. I forget things I like and dislike. I remember things both important and not important. So… what gives?

I’m not a doctor or subject matter expert, as I’ve noted in these posts before. And as much as I am concerned, I haven’t gone to a doctor or done any research mostly because it’s only been a minor impact and hasn’t seemed too intrusive. Plus, some people get a kick out seeing me recite information from years ago or forget what I’m trying to say. And I enjoy amusing others, even at my own expense.

It’s not a photographic memory, nor is is some sort of associative game I play to retain information. I’m good at things like the “Memory” game, but not exceptional. I’d suggest it was the aging process, but it’s been like this for a fairly long time (10+ years).

Why it’s good

  • I can blame it when I don’t remember something or forget someone.
  • I tend to forget when someone annoys me.
  • I get things done more quickly and don’t often repeat mistakes.

Why it’s not good

  • I am forgetting things I want to remember.
  • I’m afraid it may get worse.
  • I don’t like looking silly in front of strangers.

All in all, nothing to raise the flag about. And I bring it up today as it gives others insight into what’s going in my mind sometimes. Or maybe someone might have a suggestion or two on what could be happening… or perhaps we are all like this and I’m just thinking it’s only me. Yikes, what an ego I have. 😛

Anyone care to point me in the right direction, i.e. (a) am I losing my mind or (b) just go with it and I may find it makes the day more fun?

About Me & the “365 Daily Challenge”

I’m Jay. I am 40 and live in NYC. By profession, I work in technology. By passion, I work in writing. I’ve always been a reader. And now I’m a daily blogger. I decided to start my own version of the “365 Daily Challenge” where since March 13, 2017, I’ve posted a characteristic either I currently embody or one I’d like to embody in the future. 365 days of reflection to discover who I am and what I want out of life.

The goal: Knowledge. Acceptance. Understanding. Optimization. Happiness. Help. For myself. For others. And if all else fails, humor. When I’m finished in one year, I hope to have more answers about the future and what I will do with the remainder of my life. All aspects to be considered. It’s not just about a career, hobbies, residence, activities, efforts, et al. It’s meant to be a comprehensive study and reflection from an ordinary man. Not a doctor. Not a therapist. Not a friend. Not an encyclopedia full of prior research. Just pure thought, a blogged journal with true honesty.

Join the fun and read a new post each day, or check out my book reviews, TV/Film reviews or favorite vacation spots. And feel free to like, rate, comment or take the poll for each post. Note: All written content is my original creation and copyrighted to me, but the graphics and images were linked from other sites and belong to them. Many thanks to their original creators.

365 Challenge: Day 50 – Self-Conscious

Posted on Updated on

Self-Conscious: feeling undue awareness of oneself, one’s appearance, or one’s actions

Some people are completely content with who they are, how they look and the way they act. I have never been one of those people. I envy those people. Those people make me frustrated. I dream of being one of those people. But I have definitely improved over the years when it comes to how self-conscious I’ve been.

OK… to put it all out there… the list of things I’m self-conscious over:

  • Being too pale and feeling like everyone can see every blemish, burn, fluster or discoloration in skin tone
  • Feeling too short
  • Needing to wear glasses
  • Body parts too small or too big (I find fault with everything!)
  • Inexperience over various things
  • How clothing fits
  • Being too young or too old in a situation
  • Dancing
  • Sports
  • … let’s stop for now or I’ll go on for ever

We all feel this way at some point in our lives. For some of us, it’s only a little bit and we outgrow it. For many of us, it’s powerful and consuming. And at times, it can feel like the entire world “has it in for you.” But that’s simply not true, and I only feel comfortable saying this many years into my adulthood, where part of me doesn’t “give a shit” (pardon my language) what others think.

As a child, teenager and younger adult, I was self-conscious over everything and it caused small panic attacks, retreat, and wasted time and energy. If I spent half as much time worrying as I did, I’d have so much less stress and a many more comforts today than I do (and I have little stress and a lot of comforts).

Ultimately, it came down to 2 primary things causing these tensions: (1) I didn’t trust in myself or in others and (2) I was immature or inexperienced. Let’s dive in a little deeper:

Trust

  • Trust is a two-way action; to be successful, both people in the relationship or situation must trust one another.

  • I have always had issues trusting others when I do not know them. As a result, strangers always represented the possibility of something bad or wrong (no, nothing ever happened to me… I just kept people at arm’s length). When you don’t trust someone, you assume the worst. For me, the worst meant they didn’t like me and would do, think or say negative things about me.
  • Although I am always a trustworthy person, if I don’t show this to others, they may not immediately trust me either. And if someone doesn’t trust me, then they may actually be doing, thinking or saying those negative things.
  • Without trust, you assume the worst and over-think a situation, helping breed more self-conscious behaviors within your own actions. The foundation for feeling good about yourself either fails to build, minimizes itself or disappears entirely.
  • Less trust therefore means you question more… and once you question things about yourself, the flood of self-conscious thoughts flows.
  • And whether people admit it or not… and I feel this is a strong fact out there that needs to be accepted:
    • Yes, there are people out there who are doing/saying/thinking negative things about you. They are judging you… They are laughing… And they might be better than you when it comes to certain things. It may be 1% or 10% of the people in your life, depending on where you are at any given moment. But here’s my point: You can’t change it… it’s them, not you. You only control you. So don’t let it hold you back. Just let yourself know it’s happening, but limit how/where/when it truly affects you. Don’t let it consume you.

Immature / Inexperience

  • When you are younger, you don’t know any better. You haven’t learned a lot key lessons, ones which help build your confidence, esteem and sense of worth.
  • If you know less, you feel inferior. That is, until you realize, learning is a life-long process. And not knowing something is an opportunity to improve and gain knowledge. It’s not about focusing on what you don’t know, but how you will amass or absorb it.
  • It takes many years to realize that people are so often caught up in their own insecurities and self-esteem, they are NOT thinking about you as much as you think they are. And when you realize people aren’t focused on you, you relax a little… allowing yourself to be less critical about the things you worry over.
  • At some point, you will reach the moment we all have at various points in our life: “Who really cares?”

  • So what if you are more good-looking, smarter, thinner, richer, etc.? Why is it always a comparison? There are several billion people on this planet… we will NEVER know who is the best at anything even when someone wins that title. Not everyone participates. Some people live under a rock (exaggeration… I know)… and therefore the rest of us will never know how good that person is.
    • Too many people to worry
    • Too much else to enjoy
    • It stops you from your own purpose
    • It’s never-ending
  • So… accept that it’s a continuous journey and not a race to get to a point of perfection. (Yes, the perfectionist, who isn’t perfect and knows it, just said that).

Given everything I’ve said, a few things on my mind:

  1. I will always be self-conscious about certain things, but each time it happens, I push myself to determine why it’s important… and then find a way to lessen the impact.
  2. If it’s something I can change, and it’s important to me to change it, then I work on a path to do so.
  3. If it’s not something I can change, then I let it go. Find your triggers. Make small in-roads to re-routing your thoughts. And if you can’t… move on. Other things need better focus.
  4. Find the thing you feel even better about, and tell yourself that’s the piece that matters… not what you don’t feel good about. Be positive.
  5. Don’t focus on what the other people are doing… only yourself in this situation: it is acceptable to do such a thing and not considered selfish.

That said… I’m gonna tell myself I have that sexy librarian nerd look when I wear my glasses today while working out at the gym. And anyone looking at me just wants to get lucky with me, even tho I’ll be a sweaty mess bouncing around all over the place. And it’s not because I’m using the exercise machine the wrong way — it’s because I’m awesome!  😛

About Me & the “365 Daily Challenge”

I’m Jay. I am 40 and live in NYC. By profession, I work in technology. By passion, I work in writing. I’ve always been a reader. And now I’m a daily blogger. I decided to start my own version of the “365 Daily Challenge” where since March 13, 2017, I’ve posted a characteristic either I currently embody or one I’d like to embody in the future. 365 days of reflection to discover who I am and what I want out of life.

The goal: Knowledge. Acceptance. Understanding. Optimization. Happiness. Help. For myself. For others. And if all else fails, humor. When I’m finished in one year, I hope to have more answers about the future and what I will do with the remainder of my life. All aspects to be considered. It’s not just about a career, hobbies, residence, activities, efforts, et al. It’s meant to be a comprehensive study and reflection from an ordinary man. Not a doctor. Not a therapist. Not a friend. Not an encyclopedia full of prior research. Just pure thought, a blogged journal with true honesty.

Join the fun and read a new post each day, or check out my book reviews, TV/Film reviews or favorite vacation spots. And feel free to like, rate, comment or take the poll for each post. Note: All written content is my original creation and copyrighted to me, but the graphics and images were linked from other sites and belong to them. Many thanks to their original creators.