random thoughts

365 Challenge: Day 78 – Lazy

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Lazy: unwilling to work or use energy

It’s Monday 5/29 at 2:37pm EST and my daily 365 Challenge post is only just beginning right now. Let’s set the stage even further. It’s Memorial Day and I am officially not working today. It was a 3-day weekend. I’ve done nothing so far today except catch up on writing book reviews, interacting on social media with all of my e-friends and new e-friends. I’ve completed all but one outstanding tag/award/meme, which only just arrived in the last hour. But I still haven’t written the 365 Daily post. But it gets worse. I have not left my apartment. I’ve barely gotten off the couch. I haven’t gone to the gym. I haven’t even yet showered. Sure, you probably didn’t care to know that, but I’m just creating a little ambiance here…

At first, I thought to myself… you are worse than lazy. It’s Memorial Day and you’ve done nothing to support this important day. But… I did, as one of my posts earlier this week was thanking our veterans, active duty  armed forces (all branches) and anyone involved in this type of a role. So at least I don’t feel too guilty about being completely neglectful, as I’ve properly extended my humble appreciation via the blog; however, even if this were a regular normal day, it’s half-over and I’ve done nothing by normal standards. So…I am officially lazy today. Not everyday. It’s just today and I can accept it. I’ll be back on track with my schedule tomorrow. Actually, after I finish this post, I do plan on hitting the gym, then showering (thankfully), and I will pickup food to cook for dinner this evening.

But since we’re on the topic… is it OK to be lazy every once in a while? Do you feel wasteful when you sit on your a$$ and “play on the computer.” How often do you find yourself engaging in such a behavior? Up until about 3 years ago, I still had a flip phone. I did not have any social media accounts except for Facebook. I wasn’t big on searching the internet or reading any news or blog sites. I had other hobbies. But in the last few years, social media continues to take up more of my time. In some ways, it’s great, as I meet new people, learn new things and am connected across the world. In others, how do I measure this as true productivity of my discretionary time?

I’m not referring to it as a professional or business-oriented metric, but as a personal one. Many of us have families, children or parents to care for. Some of us work a lot more than the “standard” 40 hours, or have second and third jobs. Lots don’t have a personal computer and use their phone or at the library / work, when time permits, which is usually minimal. I’m sure there is a wide range of usage even across those of us who have blogs on WordPress (or other sites). It’s got me thinking more than usual today… about personal productivity versus laziness, when it comes to the art of just “surfing the internet.” How much is too much?

Many have asked this question before. Many have answered this question before. There are different answers as there are different kinds of bloggers. I would say I “work” about 40 to 50 hours per week on a normal schedule. I do not have children, which gives me more available free time. My parents are in good health, and although I visit with them each week, I’m not a caretaker at the moment. I exercise in my building’s gym, so no traveling around to work out or participate in sports. Basically, I’ve got a lot of “extra available” time for hobbies and pastimes, when compared to other people. It hasn’t always been this way, as I’ve had the 100 hour weeks and caring for others, so this is just a point in time contemplation over my own laziness. A few thoughts on my mind:

  • How much time on average do people spend doing this stuff?
    • A few hours a day, if I added it all up. Between the daily 365 post, reading other comments, an extra post or two depending on tags/memes/awards/summaries/updates, 5 past book reviews to catch up on for the next month or so, then syncing between all the different sites and social media accounts. That’s a lot of time. But I do enjoy it. I feel productive on some levels. I’m meeting fantastic people. {Aside: YEAH – YOU!!!}
  • How much time do I think we should spend doing this stuff?
    • I feel like 1 hour per day is sufficient, but using time wisely. Maybe a few checks thru-out the day during a quick free moment, but then back to the normal tasks at hand. I’d like to strive for accomplishing my blogging goals within a one-hour limit.
  • Is it important to consider “quality” versus “quantity?”
    • The more followers you have, the more people you follow, the more you want to engage. Today, I kept hopping from blog to blog, finding great new people and posts. And then I kept seeing “20 new posts in WP Reader” all the time. It was a bit of a rabbit hold, arguably a good one. Part of me thinks I could do this all day, but that might be unhealthy, unless it were my full-time job.
  • Are response times important on social media and blogging?
    • Even when I think about my work email, I am restless if something sits in my Inbox for more than two minutes without me reading it. And then I get nutty if I haven’t responded within 30 minutes to the sender. I’m now feeling that way about the blog! It’s definitely not a complaint — as I love blogging — but is there any “response time” that one would consider appropriate or inappropriate? It is probably subjective by person, as well as if you’ve setup expectations with someone in the past. Maybe that’s 30 minutes twice a day to keep up?

I could probably go on and on with thoughts and questions, but I think this is good enough for a daily post about feeling lazy versus productive on this specific day when speaking directly about blogging. How about you? Any thoughts on the questions above? I end with one last realization for today:

I’m not actually lazy. I have accomplished a lot since I awoke this morning. It was just all done while sitting on my couch, as part of a hobby where I’m not being paid, so… that’s why I felt lazy — because it was time where I focused on what I wanted instead of the things I thought I was supposed to do with an extra day on the weekend. So… where do I end up if not lazy… Superficial? Selfish? Silly? Oh no, another rabbit hole — and this one doesn’t sound as pleasant.

About Me & the “365 Daily Challenge”

I’m Jay and I live in NYC. By profession, I work in technology. By passion, I work in writing. I’ve always been a reader. And now I’m a daily blogger. I decided to start my own version of the “365 Daily Challenge” where since March 13, 2017, I’ve posted a characteristic either I currently embody or one I’d like to embody in the future. 365 days of reflection to discover who I am and what I want out of life.

The goal: Knowledge. Acceptance. Understanding. Optimization. Happiness. Help. For myself. For others. And if all else fails, humor. When I’m finished in one year, I hope to have more answers about the future and what I will do with the remainder of my life. All aspects to be considered. It’s not just about a career, hobbies, residence, activities, efforts, et al. It’s meant to be a comprehensive study and reflection from an ordinary man. Not a doctor. Not a therapist. Not a friend. Not an encyclopedia full of prior research. Just pure thought, a blogged journal with true honesty.

Join the fun and read a new post each day, or check out my book reviews, TV/Film reviews or favorite vacation spots. And feel free to like, rate, comment or take the poll for each post. Note: All written content is my original creation and copyrighted to me, but the graphics and images were linked from other sites and belong to them. Many thanks to their original creators.

AWARD: MYSTERY BLOGGER

Link Posted on

I was nominated for the Mystery Blogger Award by Roda via her blog at GrowingSelf. We connected a few weeks ago and I’m still exploring all the amazing content on her site. She has fantastic photographs and a really cool approach to documenting everything going on in her life. Please find a few minutes to stop by her blog and say hello.

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What is the Mystery Blogger Award?
“The “Mystery Blogger Award” is an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging and they do it with so much love and passion” ~ Okoto Enigma.

How Does It Work:

  • Put the award logo/image on your blog
  • List the rules
  • Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog
  • Mention the creator of the award
  • Tell your readers 3 things about yourself
  • Nominate up to 10 people
  • Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog
  • Ask your nominees any five questions of your choice; with one weird or funny question
  • Share a link to your best post(s)

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3 Facts about Jay:

  • My initial major in college was English Education, as I wanted to be a middle school English teacher. Then I decided, if I want my own kids, I couldn’t teach other students all day long and then come home to my own, so… I switched to English and added in several minors: Communication, Spanish, Business and Writing. I’m very diverse. Then what do I do… get a job in technology for 17+ years. And I don’t have any kids.  What????
  • I keep my food separated on my plate. If two things touch, I usually can’t eat it, unless it’s a dish cooked together, e.g. shrimp and grits or chicken and waffles. Those are totally fine combinations!!!
  • I am not a fan of vegetables. I can eat most of them raw, but if you cook them… I so won’t eat them. Except eggplant and mushrooms. Those were put on the planet to kill me.

Rona’s Questions:

1) Are you a city mouse or a country mouse?

  • I live in NYC, but if I had to pick a place to settle, it would be the country.

2) What is your Superpower?

  • I can read quickly. I can add numbers pretty fast. I tend to guess people’s secrets.

3) Who is your role model?

  • I don’t have one. 😦  I find things I like and want to add to my own personality from many different people, but I’ve yet to find a single person that I’d want to emulate 100%.

4) What Star Wars character would you be?

  • I’d want to be Han Solo.

5) What is one word that describes YOU?

  • Introspective

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My Nominations:

I am not going to select any specific names other than the last 5 people who commented on my blog… after doing several challenges, I’ve decided to offer it up to anyone who wants to participate… as it’s meant to be fun and social. So, the last 5 are:

E. Michael Helms, writer

Lashaan (Bookidote)

susandyer1962

lifeofangela

therobinsnest2017

Jay’s Questions:
1) What other country would you choose to live in?
2) Would you clone yourself if you could?
3) Where can you usually be found on a Saturday at 10pm?
4) What was your scariest dream?
5) Who surprises you more often than you’d expect?

Jay’s Favorite Post
I think it’s the 365 Daily Challenge intro… got the whole thing going!

 

I appreciate everyone who reads my blog, and especially those who comment and provide interactive conversation. I’d tag you all, but I don’t want to overwhelm you.  Thank you.

mystery

AWARD: Awesome Blogger

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I’ve been nominated for the Awesome Blogger Award. I’m not sure what I’ve done to deserve the nomination, but am definitely grateful. It’s been quite a fun ~9 months working on the blog… seeing where it takes me… and introducing me to all of you!

Much appreciation and many thanks for the nomination go to Nel at Reactionary Tales, where you will find tons of blog fun from book reviews to tales from the husband / wife, social issues to photography and history to creative writing. Always something new and exciting to read up on when visiting her site… so please find a way to check it out!

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Nel tells me this award was created by Maggie  at Dreaming of Guatemala who said:

“This is an award for the absolutely wonderful writers all across the blogging world. They have beautiful blogs, are kind and lovely, and always find a way to add happiness and laughter to the lives of their readers. That is what truly defines an awesome blogger.”

So go visit that site, too! I just did and started following to see all the fun firsthand.

RULES OF THIS AWARD

  • Thank the person who nominated you. Include the reason behind the award. Include the banner in your post.
  • Tag it under #awesomebloggeraward in the Reader.
  • Answer the questions your nominator gave you.
  • Nominate at least 5 awesome bloggers.
  • Give your nominees 10 new questions to answer.
  • Let your nominees know that they’ve been nominated!

 

NEL’S QUESTIONS & ANSWERS

  • What are you currently binge watching or plan to binge watch?
    • I started watching the latest seasons of “Grace and Frankie” and “Great British Baking Show” last week. And tonight, I’m going to start season 3 of “Kimmy Schmidt.”
  • Have you ever experienced a critical comment (justified or unjustified) on your posts or comments? How did you you deal with it?
    • No, not yet. A few comments were direct and had a disagreement with something I wrote, but nothing was rude or mean. I believe they even apologized for having a different opinion than me. I’ve got amazing online friends and followers!
  • Do you believe in chance or luck? Or everything is based on logic?
    • I definitely believe in chance, luck and logic. It could be any of them, or even a combination of all three. Sometimes things just happen for no reason. Sometimes it’s random. Sometimes it’s destiny.
  • Android or Apple?
    • Apple. Nothing wrong with Android, just none of my closest friends used it, so I didn’t bother to get one. I work in technology, so I’m familiar with it, tho.
  • What’s something on your bucket list that you hope to do in the next 5 years?
    • Publish a book. Eh, too easy since I’ve already written the book and am working with an agent. Invent something.
  • Hot sub or cold sub?
    • Cold… I’m not one for mushy sauces on bread when heated up.
  • If you are given two choices – death for denying to accept a lie as a truth, life for accepting a truth as a lie, what would you choose?
    • I think that’s too complicated to know… it’s always subjective and based on the actual situation. But as a general rule of thumb, I believe in the truth for nearly all situations. I wouldn’t choose death simply because I disagreed with something. I’d keep trying to fight it until I proved my point.
  • Polar bears or Pandas?
    • I can’t choose. They’re both too cute. If you force me, polar bears. I love the cold.
  • If you could travel, all expenses paid, to anywhere in the world right now, where would it be and why?
    • African safari for a month.
  • Tag your own favorite post you posted here.

JAY’S QUESTIONS & ANSWERS

I’m a bit of a game-player (in only the fun way)… so I’ve created 10 questions with increasing difficulty. Be prepared to think!

  1. What book best describes your life right now?
  2. What makes you immediately feel connected to your characters? Answer either as a writer or a reader.
  3. What do you do with 3 hours of free time when no one knows about it?
  4. There’s a million dollars in a bag under a tree. You can take it and no one will know, but you lose 1 year of your life. Do you do it?
  5. You must transfigure to an animal for the remainder of your life. Which one?
  6. One of your favorite authors asks you to help edit their next book. Do you do it?
  7. A genie in a bottle — lame, I know — offers you one wish. You have to choose between the following two.  Which one and why? (a) a pill that will cure any illness or (b) a clock that can be turned back by 24 hours to prevent a disaster.
  8. A family member has a secret that will change the world’s perception of you. You have the ability to lock them in a room never to be seen again. Do you do it?
  9. You find the Fountain of Youth and it offers you an opportunity to bring 2 people with you. Who do you choose?
  10. You have the opportunity to erase this post from your WordPress site, and I’ll never know you chose not to answer these questions. Would you do it? 🙂

 

TAG: YOU’RE UP!

mistysbookspace

Books, Vertigo and Tea

susandyer1962

PatriciaFairweatherRomero

iamdes

sarahylockwood

Avonna

Mama Cass

I picked a random selection of bloggers I’ve known for a few months or just met this week. Have fun with it. Don’t stress. Skip it if it’s too much. Pass it on if you love it. Participate even if you weren’t tagged. I love learning about everyone. And remember, if you don’t do it, then:

About Me

I’m Jay and I live in NYC. By profession, I work in technology. By passion, I work in writing. Once you hit my site “ThisIsMyTruthNow” at https://thisismytruthnow.com, you can join the fun and see my blog and various site content. You’ll find book reviews, published and in-progress fiction, TV/Film reviews, favorite vacation spots and my own version of the “365 Daily Challenge.” Since March 13, 2017, I’ve posted a characteristic either I currently embody or one I’d like to embody in the future. 365 days of reflection to discover who I am and what I want out of life… see how you compare! Feel free to like, rate, comment or take the poll for each post. Tell me what you think. Note: All content is my original creation and copyrighted to me, but the graphics and images were linked from other sites and belong to them. Many thanks to their original creators.

Blog: A Book Bucket List

Link Posted on Updated on

As I was looking through a few new sites this morning, I came across a brilliant idea. We all have our “To Be Read” list on Goodreads. We all have our favorite authors and genres. But how many of us have our very own “Book Bucket List?” I cannot claim to be the creator of this very cool idea, as I found it on a new online friend’s page: Laura @ thebookcorps.  She’s got a fun site, full of book reviews, blog postings and great ideas. Go take a look to see more. I’m thankful to her for posting her own “bucket list” and being OK with me borrowing her idea!

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I’m not exactly sure how this works, so I’m going to make up my own rules. Today, I’ve started it with the top 12 books I want to read: 1 for every month in the next year, including a link to the book on Goodreads. I’ve also included the two books from 2017 that would have been on the list if I hadn’t already read them. I will keep adding to this page as I find new books that I absolutely must read. And when I cross one off the list, I’ll literally cross it off this list (see below) and provide a link to my book review. Without any further ado, below is my official “Book Bucket List” for everyone to see and monitor progress with this initial post, but the permanent page where I will track each update is located here:  Book Bucket List

  1. Arden, Katherine — The Bear and the Nightingale
  2. Bardugo, Leigh — Six of Crows
  3. Brown, Dan — Origin
  4. Follett, Ken — A Column of Fire
  5. Forman, Gayle — If I Stay
  6. Gabaldon, Diana — Dragonfly in Amber
  7. Hawkins, Paula — Into the Water
  8. Maas, Sarah — A Court of Thorns and Roses
  9. Macintosh, Claire — I Let You Go
  10. McKinlay, Jenn — A Likely Story
  11. Morton, Kate — The Distant Hours
  12. Morton, Kate — The Lake House
  13. Mosse, Kate — Citadel
  14. Reichert, Amy E. — The Simplicity of Cider

 

About Me

I’m Jay and I live in NYC. By profession, I work in technology. By passion, I work in writing. Once you hit my site “ThisIsMyTruthNow” at https://thisismytruthnow.com, you can join the fun and see my blog and various site content. You’ll find book reviews, published and in-progress fiction, TV/Film reviews, favorite vacation spots and my own version of the “365 Daily Challenge.” Since March 13, 2017, I’ve posted a characteristic either I currently embody or one I’d like to embody in the future. 365 days of reflection to discover who I am and what I want out of life… see how you compare! Each month, I will post a summary of a trip I’ve taken somewhere in the world. I’ll cover the transportation, hotel, restaurants, activities, who, what, when, where and why… and let you decide for yourself if it’s a trip worth taking.

Feel free to like, rate, comment or take the poll for each post. Tell me what you think. Note: All content is my original creation and copyrighted to me, but the graphics and images were linked from other sites and belong to them. Many thanks to their original creators.

Award: Blogger Recognition

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Des’ Random Thoughts tagged me in her Blogger Recognition Award post, and now it’s my turn to give this tag a little workout among my friends.  First, I appreciate her kind and thoughtful mention, and everyone should stop over at Des’ site to look at everything she’s pulled together in the last year.  She has a variety of book reviews, general posts, updates & summaries, tags and awards. It’s always a fun treat when stopping by each day. And to keep the momentum going backward, Des was tagged by 

blogger-recognition-award

 

rules

  • Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
  • Give a brief story of how your blog started.
  • Give at least two pieces of advice to new bloggers.
  • Select 10 other bloggers you want to give this award to.
  • Comment on each blog and let them know you have nominated them and provide the link to the post you created.

 

How My Blog Started

Last year, I left my full-time corporate technology position and found myself with a few months of free time, at least before I would head back to work again. Part of my professional position included managing WordPress website development, and I had done some XML and HTML coding over a decade ago. I thought I should get a bit more hands-on with WP, which led to me creating three (3) websites: (a) professional, (b) this personal blog and (c) my book. I also began reading and posting my reviews on Goodreads each day. After a few weeks, I found myself meeting new people, adding more content and having a grand ole time. I had things to say and people seemed to have fun reading and commenting. It’s taken off over the last 6 months and I now have about 2500 followers between all three sites and my connected social media accounts. Thank you to everyone; I truly appreciate all the kindness and interest. It’s become part of my full-time job, in addition to writing, bringing lots of fun and depth to my life each day. And now I’m looking to build and grow in many directions, looking for guidance, advice and requests from each of you! So bring it on…

My Advice

With only 6 active months under my belt, I’m not sure I’m qualified to provide blogging advice; however, I will certainly share my knowledge and you can choose to love it, hate it, take it or ignore it!

  • Create the blog for yourself — not for anyone else, in the beginning. Give some thought to the things you want to say and how often you plan to share. Create content that makes you happy, as it will have more quality when you’re first starting out as a new blogger.
  • Reach out and connect to other bloggers who share similar interests. I’ve had about a 50% connection rate, meaning half the time I never hear back from the person, but  half the time I do. And in that process, I see great styles and topics on other people’s blogs, find wonderful people to share a few minutes of fun with each day and I learn different techniques for being open, flexible and friendly. Comment all the time. Be nice. Be friendly. Open new dialogue.
  • Build check-in points. I don’t mean put in a target to have “x” followers by a certain time period. I mean… check your statistics every week or couple of weeks to learn how people are using your site. Do you have 100 views and only 2 likes? What does that mean? Do you have 100 views and 100 unique people, meaning no one is looking at multiple pages? Learn what you’re doing that people like and what they don’t like, so you can determine if you need or want to make any changes down the line. Message me if you have questions on these features.
  • Don’t get discouraged. Over time, you’ll see growth if you’re doing all the right things. Some people hit it perfectly the first time; others take a few months. But remember, you need to start out doing this for yourself to get comfortable before you can leap frog all over the place.

 

Nominees

As I scrolled thru the list, there were about 100 names I wanted to add… but that would be too many! Many of these aren’t new to blogging, as they have big sites already. So… I went with the last 10 I interacted with thru either a like on their site or my site.  Please check them all out, and if you are tagged, I hope you’ll participate. No pressure tho!  And if you are not tagged, feel free to do your own post and let me know by linking back, so I can come check out what you had to say.

 

About Me

I’m Jay and I live in NYC. By profession, I work in technology. By passion, I work in writing. Once you hit my site “ThisIsMyTruthNow” at https://thisismytruthnow.com, you can join the fun and see my blog and various site content. You’ll find book reviews, published and in-progress fiction, TV/Film reviews, favorite vacation spots and my own version of the “365 Daily Challenge.” Since March 13, 2017, I’ve posted a characteristic either I currently embody or one I’d like to embody in the future. 365 days of reflection to discover who I am and what I want out of life… see how you compare! And each month, I will post a summary of a trip I’ve taken somewhere in the world. I’ll cover the transportation, hotel, restaurants, activities, who, what, when, where and why… and let you decide for yourself if it’s a trip worth taking.

Feel free to like, rate, comment or take the poll for each post. Tell me what you think. Note: All content is my original creation and copyrighted to me, but the graphics and images were linked from other sites and belong to them. Many thanks to their original creators.

365 Challenge: Day 61 – Blind

Posted on

Blind: lacking perception, awareness, or discernment

The word “blind” has many interpretations, both figurative and literal. If you are blind, you are unable to see. Perception is important to understanding a situation, as what you perceive may not always be correct and could lead you to confusion and chaos. Some people have tunnel vision and can only see something that is within a certain range. Others have intuition and can sense more than what they actually see. The best way for me to characterize what I’m thinking about today is by talking about those of us who are blind and those of us who are not. Let’s talk about the physical side of it first…

Having issues with my sight has been prevalent for most of my life. I began wearing glasses around 7-years old. When I turned 16, I was allowed to get contact lenses. While I wouldn’t qualify under the proper definition of blind, I have almost no ability to see anything other than faint colors and a huge blur, unless I’m wearing my glasses or contact lenses. I’m grateful that I have at least some ability to survive without them, but it is minimal. I wouldn’t even get from my bed to the door without using my hands to navigate, walking baby steps and listening carefully to know what noises may clue me in to my surroundings. 20 / 400+ vision sounds familiar, from visiting the eye doctor when much younger. If I wear my glasses or contact lenses, I end up somewhere around 20 / 40 — able to see everything, but usually still squinting for anything minute or far away. At least I have that ability… and I know that makes me lucky, as I could not imagine having no ability to see at all.

Perhaps because of my inability to see things clearly, I’ve developed an unusual retention or understanding of my physical surroundings. I’m hyper-sensitive about knowing where the entrances and exits are to whatever location I find myself in. But I don’t often pay attention to the colors, art or objects within the place. Unless I’m there for the intention of looking at the art or objects, they all fade away as unimportant things to ignore. My “educated” guess is that it’s a fear inside me, pushing me to know how to get in or out if I needed to in an emergency, as I would be lost without the plastic devices in or on my eyes.

If I am wearing glasses, my peripheral vision is weak. I can only see what’s directly in front of me and not to the sides. If the room gets too hot, my glasses might steam up. It will even happen with my contact lenses in use. Or if the lenses get dry or itchy, I need to take them out right away. For me, those could be issues in an emergency situation. If I lose my glasses, or someone took them away from me, or my contacts had to be removed, I would not be able to get in or out on my own. Unless, I knew the entrance and exit locations fairly accurately, which is why it’s always important for me. I wonder if that’s part of the reason I don’t like crowds, going to in-door concerts or being stuck up on higher floors…

Tunnel vision, over situations, is something we all experience from time to time. We choose only to see what we want to see within the parameters we’ve setup for ourselves. It could be a painful memory, an emotional avoidance, a strong desire… but we cling to a certain view of something, unwilling to consider anything outside those boundaries. I’ve done this on occasion, more when I was younger. I see it frequently in others now, if I stop and just monitor a conversation or note the way someone talks about certain situations. I’ve become perceptive to other people’s tendencies, so to speak.

In my own world, my perception can be skewed. Sometimes I want something to be true, I don’t see the things already indicating it isn’t possible or couldn’t happen. One’s mind is powerful and controlling, often able to hide things we do not wish to see at that moment. Previous experience can sometimes dictate your emotional reaction to a situation, and then you are unable to consider all the other pertinent facts or actions. It’s not often on purpose or even a choice; it just happens that way.

Blind. Blind to physical objects. Blind to memories. Blind to hidden meanings. Blind to the facts. We’re all blind to something in our lives… sometimes it’s important and might significantly change our paths. Sometimes it’s meaningless and would simply be a red herring. Reality can be jarring. Blinding ourselves to the truth is often an easy way to move forward or avoid things that need to be confronted or considered. Have you ever taken a moment to step back… to look at what’s going on around you… to remove the blinders and observe with a fresh approach?

About Me & the “365 Daily Challenge”

I’m Jay and I live in NYC. By profession, I work in technology. By passion, I work in writing. I’ve always been a reader. And now I’m a daily blogger. I decided to start my own version of the “365 Daily Challenge” where since March 13, 2017, I’ve posted a characteristic either I currently embody or one I’d like to embody in the future. 365 days of reflection to discover who I am and what I want out of life.

The goal: Knowledge. Acceptance. Understanding. Optimization. Happiness. Help. For myself. For others. And if all else fails, humor. When I’m finished in one year, I hope to have more answers about the future and what I will do with the remainder of my life. All aspects to be considered. It’s not just about a career, hobbies, residence, activities, efforts, et al. It’s meant to be a comprehensive study and reflection from an ordinary man. Not a doctor. Not a therapist. Not a friend. Not an encyclopedia full of prior research. Just pure thought, a blogged journal with true honesty.

Join the fun and read a new post each day, or check out my book reviews, TV/Film reviews or favorite vacation spots. And feel free to like, rate, comment or take the poll for each post. Note: All written content is my original creation and copyrighted to me, but the graphics and images were linked from other sites and belong to them. Many thanks to their original creators.

365 Challenge: Day 60 – Charming

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Charming: pleasant, attractive, polite, friendly, and likable

Ah, my friends… I am the epitome of charming. If you saw me, or knew me, you’d immediately think… he’s my prince riding in on a white horse with an amazing smile, a wonderful sense of humor, beautiful eyes, an exquisitely-tailored suit, bags of money in his saddle, perfectly-coiffed hair, and… oh, wait, wrong blog! Sorry… got confused there for a moment. Thought I was writing a chapter in my fairy tale novel…

What the #$#@@? No… I was not stretching out my ego in that first paragraph, nor was I beginning a post on the non-existence of the quintessential Prince Charming. And I wasn’t about to dive into the tragic sexist interpretations that every girl (or boy) is searching for this perfect man, as some are searching for the perfect woman or whatever tickles their fancy. But in all sincerity… I don’t think I’ve ever heard a woman referred to as “charming” when it comes to romanticism; it seems, at least in my experience, to be a word used to describe a man. Anyone have a good use of when it described a woman in a courtship / romantic sort of notion? I’m curious…

The real intention behind today’s 365 Daily Challenge word is how although I mostly fit the definition, I would not consider myself a charming person. To me… although there always has been a small part of me who (1) kinda am that little boy looking to be rescued, (2) loves all those fairy tale movies and their re-interpretations where Cinderella (or Cinder… fella?) find their perfect partner after dropping a shoe that fits no other, and (3) believes in the magic of changing one’s life at the snap of a wand. To me…

Charming is very difficult to maintain as a characteristic one demonstrates for most of his/her life. Charming is more “point in time” or “momentary” … as in … he was so charming that first night, she was a charming hostess during those first few months (ooh, I came up with an example)! No one can be charming 24/7. We all get irritable. We all are tired. We all are jealous. To truly be charming all your life, you’d have to never exhibit those qualities, which seems quite impossible, or rare, at the very least. Let’s tackle those 5 words:

pleasant – seems a bit weak of a word as part of the way to describe charming. If you are charming, you better be a whole lot more than just pleasant. You better show me something unique, above standards… it should be natural and unknown to you… something almost ethereal where you exude a seductive yet innocent aura

attractive – yes, probably quite necessary, but again… a bit weak. You better be God or Goddess-like if you are the stereotypical Prince or Princess Charming

polite – true, you would have to be kind and nice… but I’d expect full-on royal-treatment and going an extra step to convince me you’re charming

friendly – yes, absolutely, but again, go overboard — make it seem so you are friendly to everyone but with me, you are the very best of intimate attraction

likable – doesn’t this mean the same thing as the above words… yes, I suppose that’s the point in a definition… maybe the Interwebs steered me in the wrong direction with this definition…

OK, so what have I learned here… the definition of the word charming doesn’t quite meet my expectation of the connotation and denotation of the word I imagine it to be. Let’s see how I do/don’t fit into it:

  • I work hard (although it is innate) to disappear into my surroundings and the crowd. I do not want to stand out among others.
  • My humor is an acquired taste, one in which it is a bit offbeat and rare to see.
  • I consider myself the epitome of average; and this pleases me.
  • I get too caught up in what others are thinking, rather than casual enough to just go about myself without a care.

So right out of the gate, I really wouldn’t consider myself charming. I’ve met a few people I considered charming… more of a passing fancy… momentary, as I noted. What about you? An example of a charming man or woman? But let’s be clear — is this is a fictional character or real-life person you’ve met? Inquiring minds would like to know who believes in the word charming… and what your definition would be…

About Me & the “365 Daily Challenge”

I’m Jay and I live in NYC. By profession, I work in technology. By passion, I work in writing. I’ve always been a reader. And now I’m a daily blogger. I decided to start my own version of the “365 Daily Challenge” where since March 13, 2017, I’ve posted a characteristic either I currently embody or one I’d like to embody in the future. 365 days of reflection to discover who I am and what I want out of life.

The goal: Knowledge. Acceptance. Understanding. Optimization. Happiness. Help. For myself. For others. And if all else fails, humor. When I’m finished in one year, I hope to have more answers about the future and what I will do with the remainder of my life. All aspects to be considered. It’s not just about a career, hobbies, residence, activities, efforts, et al. It’s meant to be a comprehensive study and reflection from an ordinary man. Not a doctor. Not a therapist. Not a friend. Not an encyclopedia full of prior research. Just pure thought, a blogged journal with true honesty.

Join the fun and read a new post each day, or check out my book reviews, TV/Film reviews or favorite vacation spots. And feel free to like, rate, comment or take the poll for each post. Note: All written content is my original creation and copyrighted to me, but the graphics and images were linked from other sites and belong to them. Many thanks to their original creators.