Watchdog: a dog kept to guard private property; to maintain surveillance over (a person, activity, or situation)
It’s Ryder and I’m back to bring you more Monday fun. Well, it would normally be fun. But not today. I’ve got some news to share about my very bad dads who did the most awful thing this weekend. I’m sure you read all about their lovely little weekend getaway to the beach. One they just returned from. Without me. Where was I, you ask? Not there. No, they left me behind. No consideration. Just abandoned me. And I hear they’re about to do it again over Labor Day when they make a trip to visit family down south. If that happens, you will have a one unhappy Ryder post again. And that’s why I’m a watchdog today. Okay, maybe a few other reasons, too.
I probably shouldn’t complain. They do take good care of me when they leave. I just don’t know why I can’t go. They used to take me all the time with them to the beach house. Not anymore. Claim it’s because it’s not their rental, and it would be an imposition to ask friends if I can come along. Me, an imposition? Ugh. I never. So they signed up with this adorable company called Celebrity Pets. Ella runs it. She comes and picks me up at the apartment, brings me home to her lovely house with a whole backyard. I see other dogs. More on that nuisance later. I get walks. And lots of treats. But I miss the dads very much. In honor of being angry with them for the first 24 hours when I return, I thought I’d share a few things that also make me a very angry dog. But first, a pic where I am not angry — snow on the terrace from a few years ago. I love snow!!! But I hate water.
Children. I do not like them. If they are under 10, they annoy me. First of all, they want to pick me up. I don’t like being picked up. I barely tolerate it when the dads do it. I will come snuggle with you when I want to snuggle. Otherwise, pets are allowed. Scratches are great. And sometimes I enjoy belly rubs. Children don’t understand this. I bark at them. I hear the toddlers out in the hallways and I run to the door and get very huffy. I also growl at them. It’s a low growl, not too scary. But I hope it sends them away. It usually does. Sometimes it takes a while, but then they disappear. Thankfully. Does anyone really like these children? When they become adults, I love them. But until then, please stay away from me. I would never do anything to hurt you. But you will not catch me. I will hide. I will run. I will do whatever it takes to get away.
Halloween is the worst. Dads buy candy and all the little children dress up. Monsters show up. I always go to the door to answer it. I try to be friendly. But then they run into the apartment after me. I look at the dads who do nothing of course. They laugh and say “aren’t you cute” to the little monster chasing me into the dining room. Seriously, that’s wrong. But what’s worse is when one of the dads puts me in a costume. The other dad knows better. It’s only on Halloween. And just for the 2 hours when those children show up. Last year, I had a little King outfit. The hat was itchy and it had to be eaten. The children might be next.
The other thing I really dislike is water. I like to drink it. But that’s all. I hate getting baths. When I was younger, they put me in a pool. I do not like swimming. I kept trying to get out, but for 20 minutes they tortured me and forced me to swim across to the other side. I didn’t understand it. You get nowhere. You earn no treats. You just get wet. I like the sun. I like laying in the heat sometimes. Water is not good. They claim they just wanted me to know how to swim in case I ever fell into water. I think they are just trying to torture me. Especially with the outdoor watering system they installed. Sprinklers go off all times of the day. Shooting water at the plants. But they always miss. And it hits me. I hate getting wet like that. So I try to bite the water where it’s coming out of the sprinkler or the faucet. I bark at it to go away. It eventually listens. Takes about 20 minutes, but it recedes back into its little hole. If it really annoys me, I screech. Like a really loud abrasive noisy one. Neighbors once thought my dads were killing a cat. Oops.
They even took me into the ocean on a leash one day. Only where the waves came up on the sand, trying to get me wet. They laughed. Found it amusing. One dad loves the beach. The other does not. You would think he might try to protect me. No. He was in on it. Water torture, I tell ya. Not a pretty sight. So in return, I chase birds. When they land on my Enchanted Garden AKA NYC Terrace, I jump in the air to catch them. I run down the patio and nip at them. I’ve caught 6 so far. Actually 7, but the dads haven’t found that one yet. They will. Some day soon. During fall clean-up while I’m laying in the sun. One of them will scream. The other will have to clean it up. They are very different sometimes. I once brought a dead bird into the house and gave it to them as a lovely housewarming gift. They did not seem to like it very much. Dad two wrapped it in paper towels. Threw it off the side of the apartment. I don’t think that’s allowed, but he was screeching almost like I do when the water hits me.
This joint’s loony sometimes. I don’t feel bad that I kill the birds. They invade my territory, they pay the price. I’m just protecting the dads. One summer, a series of birds kept attacking him anytime he went on to the terrace. But not the other dad. The dads don’t know why it was just one of them. But I do. Sometimes I am friends with the birds. This was a long time ago. So when I was angry with one dad for not giving me some of his dinner, I had a little conversation with the birds and asked them to do me a solid. I thought it was a one-time attack, but it happened every day for a month. I didn’t mean for it to happen. Poor dad two. He would spray the hose at them. Throw things at them. But they always attacked him. Then it just stopped. I suspect the other dad talks to the birds too. He might have had his own vendetta against dad two for a few days. Something about breaking too many wine glasses. I try to not pay attention to them when they get like that.
So I’m a bit tired. It takes a lot to write these posts. With no pay. I’m generous like that. How about you? Any angry dogs out there? Keep them away from me. I am not angry, I just play one on TV to amuse everybody. And I’m the watchdog around here. I have to ensure I keep things in order. Woof!
- Ryder has gotten to know so many bloggers over the last year, he’s decided to recommend one to each of you during his Monday posts. This week, he’d like you to meet Decluttering My Life. We met about two months ago and have been chatting a few times a week about over nearly ever possible topic, given the variety of content on both our sites. Categories you’ll find on this blogger’s site include the environment, expats, feminism, human nature, literature, minimalism, science, society, sport and the third world. The topics and posts are incredibly thought-provoking, connecting ideas and beliefs across hundreds of centuries in a way that really gives you new perspective. Sometimes it’s a reminder of things you knew but forgot, yet at others, it’s a good wake-up call. Never preachy. Never too lengthy. Just enough to give you some alternative paths to look at complex topics. She’s friendly and quite intelligent, which you’ll easily see from the words she chooses and the messages she conveys. At times, I believe I might be missing a few of the hidden meanings in her words, as it’s so incredibly responsive and interactive on many levels, you have to let it soak in and then respond yourself. If you’d like an intellectual blogger to add to your daily inspiration and review, check her out. If you don’t believe me, you can see a blurb from the site’s About Me section below:
- “While striving to close a chapter in my female life at the age of 34, I have started to clean out the remnants of my past. This is neither another manual how to declutter overpacked make-up bags nor a don’t-worry-be-happy site. What is then? During this process I have run across some rather weird ideas about possession and self-justification. I have chosen this way of reflection to discuss my concerns about the opportunity costs of donation or the arrogance of humankind. My overall disappointment is leading me towards minimalism. May it be the remedy?”
About Me & the “365 Daily Challenge”
I’m Jay and I live in NYC. By profession, I work in technology. By passion, I work in writing. I’ve always been a reader. And now I’m a daily blogger. I decided to start my own version of the “365 Daily Challenge” where since March 13, 2017, I’ve posted a characteristic either I currently embody or one I’d like to embody in the future. 365 days of reflection to discover who I am and what I want out of life.
The goal: Knowledge. Acceptance. Understanding. Optimization. Happiness. Help. For myself. For others. And if all else fails, humor. When I’m finished in one year, I hope to have more answers about the future and what I will do with the remainder of my life. All aspects to be considered. It’s not just about a career, hobbies, residence, activities, efforts, et al. It’s meant to be a comprehensive study and reflection from an ordinary man. Not a doctor. Not a therapist. Not a friend. Not an encyclopedia full of prior research. Just pure thought, a blogged journal with true honesty.
Join the fun and read a new post each day, or check out my book reviews, TV/Film reviews or favorite vacation spots. And feel free to like, rate, comment or take the poll for each post. Note: All written content is my original creation and copyrighted to me, but the graphics and images were linked from other sites and belong to them. Many thanks to their original creators.